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Best movies for home theater
https://s1.dmcdn.net/v/41iE01LRz2oG6tRB3/x1080 I decided to make a compilation of my favorite movies for home theater, not just in terms of sound, but also all around movie experiences:
13 Hours
3:10 To Yuma
1917
21 Bridges
A Quiet Place
Ad Astra
The Adjustment Bureau
After Earth
Air Force One
All Is Lost
Allied
American Sniper
Anna
Annihilation
Anon
Armageddon
Apocalypto
Apollo 13
Arrival
The Assassination Of Jesse James
Atomic Blonde
Ava
Avatar
The Aviatior
Baby Driver
Batman Begins
Battleship
The Big Short
Black Hawk Dawn
Black Swan
Blade Runner 2049
Blood Diamond
Body Of Lies
Bridge Of Spies
Catch Me If You Can
Captain Philips
Casino
Cast Away
Children Of Men
Con Air
Contact
Constantine
The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button
The Dark Knight
The Dark Knight Rises
Deepwater Horizon
The Departed
Django Unchained
Drive
Dunkirk
Elysium
Equilibrium
Ex Machina
Exodus Gods And Kings
Flags Of Our Fathers
The Fifth Element
Fight Club
First Man
Ford V Ferrari
Fury
The Fountain
Gangs Of New York
Gattaca
Gladiator
Glass
Gods Of Egypt
Good Fellas
Good Kill
Gravity
The Great Gatsby
The Great Wall
The Green Mile
Hacksaw Ridge
The Happening
The Host
Hostiles
Hugo
The Hurt Locker
I Am Legend
I, Robot
In The Heart Of The Sea
In Time
Inception
Inglorious Basterds
Interstellar
The Island
The Jackal
Joker
Joy
Jupiter Ascending
Killing Them Softly
Kingdom Of Heaven
The Last Samurai
Lone Survivor
Looper
Lords Of War
Lucy
Mad Max Fury Road
The Machinist
The Martian
The Mask Of Zorro
Master And Commander
Minority Report
Mortal Engines
Mother!
No Country For Old Men
Once Upon A Time In Hollywood
Panic Room
Passengers
The Passion Of The Christ
The Patriot
Pearl Harbor
The Perfect Storm
The Prestige
The Professional
Public Enemies
Ready Player One
Red Sparrow
The Revenant
Road To Perdition
Roma
Rush
Salt
Saving Private Ryan
Scarface
Seabiscuit
Se7en
Shutter Island
Sicario
Signs
S1m0ne
The Sixth Sense
Space Cowboys
Split
Sully
Tenet
There Will Be Blood
The Thin Red Line
Titanic
Tron Legacy
True Grit
U-571
Unbreakable
Unstoppable
V For Vendetta
The Village
Wanted
War Of The Worlds
War Horse
Wheelman
I also recommend the following IP movie series franchises:
007 James Bond
The Chronicles Of Narnia
DC Extended Universe
Fantastic Beast
The Fast & The Furious
Godzilla
Harry Potter
The Hobbit
The Hunger Games
Indiana Jones
Jason Bourne
John Wick
Jurassic Park
King Kong
The Lord Of The Rings
Marvel Comics (MCU, Spider-Man, X-Men)
The Matrix
Mission Impossible
The Mummy
The Pirates Of The Caribbean
Pixar
Star Trek
Star Wars
The Terminator
Transformers
Edit: Also pretty much any action movie with The Rock, Charlize Theron, Jason Statham, Milla Jovovich, Mark Wahlberg, Kate Beckinsale, Liam Neeson, Angelina Jolie, and Gerard Butler.
The Future That Never Was: KITTY KITTY - #2 THE TWISTED HEIST
RR link Previous chapter (RETRO COSMOS) #2 - THE TWISTED HEIST A star had just gone out in the distance, sending its entire system, planets and moons, into oblivion. So, what was a simple life compared to a sun? Did the human existence that earthlings highly cherished in the past deserve so much fuss? I would say no, of course, because I’m a cat. Our condition to us felines will never have to pale in front of a shiny astronomical object. Mine specifically, don’t you think? Oswald Avery was merely a Homo sapiens. A retired buccaneer, fermenting his adulterated wine on the carcass of a drifting supercargo; all under the remodeled features of a former Galactic Trade Company’s pilot. Alas, regardless of the genetic disguise, the FID rarely lied. It hadn’t fooled us and the masks had fallen off. Just like him. I’m such a poet. Anyway… Avery had had a long life of crimes and adventures. He was full of energy in his youth. And as in the universe, nothing is lost, nothing is created, everything is transformed, this energy was reincarnated in a nice amount in our bank account once the old picaroon flatlined. “We finally got it! And it was a traditional Martian contract. Payable remotely, on condition that the FID is validated. How about that?” “God… Lee … you’re talking to yourself and it’s only 8 a.m.,” Ali grunted behind me. My couch potato of an associate had her head still stuck in the cereal box she was nibbling before falling asleep binge-watching Captain Caveman on ABC. “To begin with, it’s 8 p.m., Martian Time. And we do have a positive balance in our bank account for the first time in months! Do you know what that means, partner?” “Shopping, bitches!” she shouted as she hurled herself into the void, gliding to the bathroom in the weightlessness. With the cardboard box on the top of her head, this sugar bishop was swimming after the remnant cereals that floated on her path like Ms. Pac-Man. “Hell! Have I just opened Pandora’s box?” The liner Danaë and its forty-eight post-nuclear Baltimore-XVIII heavy reactors made its annual cruise from Lunapolis to the suburbs of Ceres, in the belt. Its figurehead with the effigy of the Greek princess was a two hundred meters long, green ceramic statue. The size of the ship exceeded some inhabited asteroids’ diameter so it possessed its own substantial gravitational field. “It’s quite a symbol of the decline of humanity,” I said to Ali, pointing with my chin at this unique work of art. “Why?” my partner asked without caring whatsoever. “Spill the beans, Plato.” The Kitty had obtained permission to dock and began its approach. I concluded then: “Humanity no longer erects great and beautiful things without turning them into a shopping mall.” The gold and ivory Danaë was one of the most luxurious epicenters of human decadence in the system; comprising hotels, casinos, megastores and amusement parks spread over a dozen centrifugal rings. There was something for everyone’s wallet, ready to be emptied, whether one was welcomed at the port or had joined during the crossing. And to my great regret, the cape of the Danaë was just passing by us that week. “I believe we should keep our savings for the maintenance of the Swallow. The dashboard lights up like a Christmas tree. Some parts need to be changed…” “You’re such a bore with your adult talks,” my partner said as she left the fitting room of a luxury chain overlooking the main deck. “What do you think of that? Sexy as fuck, right?” Her camisole didn’t hide a single inch square of flesh and I subtly pointed it out to her: “It’s a bit of a back-alley Sally.” I took a blow on the nose which, this time, was amply justified. “There’s nothing chicer than Borderline. You don’t know anything about fashion. It’s crazy!” She was furious. It was entertaining. But she was right. The human female fads were way over my head and I wasn’t a good adviser. Mostly because I didn’t care. At all. Fortunately, the upscale shopping mall where we were staying had provided us with a free assistant who was even more servile than a decerebrate canine. As usual, the robot carrier that accompanied us did the job by flattering her with its unbearable honeyed tone: “I find you charming, Madame. Here we have the latest fashionable lingerie on Mars. It’s an ephemeral collection that appears to have been specially made to mold your discreet curves, which seem to have been sculpted by the seraphim.” Ali gave me a satisfied look that I pretended to ignore. Then she backtracked into the fitting room to put her black suit and pink jacket back on. I took the opportunity to climb on the shoulders of this silly robot, servant of our servants and last link in this hierarchy whose origins go back to Ancient Egypt. “One more move like this and I’ll turn you into a gum dispenser.” The automaton apologized before my partner’s head emerged from behind the silk curtains which were far too fragrant for my taste. “I just checked; it’s too expensive anyway. I ain’t buying it,” she announced. “Can you order a taxicab to take us to the hotels’ ring? You’d be a sweetheart.” Happy to leave this irascible human with her robotic slave, I proceeded to the nearest service terminal. By the time I requested a vehicle, a flying cigarette dispenser could light me a Lucky. “It’s forbidden to smoke in our store, Monsieur.” The customer attaché, in his blue silk suit with elephant legs, had appeared out of nowhere. Yet, with such a shiny tie, this punk should have dazzled me from the Kuiper belt. “Please be kind and get me a Pepper Coke instead of ruining my eyesight…” I grumbled in response. I was in an awful mood. I definitely hated shopping. And people. Yet the pedestrian avenues of the Danaë had a very exceptional population density. Perms were making a strong comeback, as were neon tattoos and overly open flowered shirts. Under the false UVA/B sun, it was a true dance of flesh, steel and plastic bodies with assumed nudity. Implants and surgery erased the hazards of the genetic lottery for better or worse. It was so superficial. So futile. So human. “Hello, handsome!” Ali cried out, a large smile across her face. “Lee? You didn’t tell me you knew Christophe Lambert! You know I'm a huge Highlander fan!” My partner had just joined me, arms loaded with bags massive enough to live in it, start a family and park my chromic Pontiac Firebird. All were filled with C$400 t-shirts and sneakers that she didn’t need and would only put on once. “No smell. Hologram,” I conclude by throwing my cigarette butt through the smiling ghost. “Shame!” Ali sighed. She then looked at her terminal, and continued: “Do you think I have time to grab a watch module? There are sales in the Japanese aisle! I saw some GD-8 that would go well with my new Game Pocket! This boat is fucking rad!” Ali could not stop humming Who wants to live forever. I had to rub my temples to avoid a migraine before the arrival of our taxicab five minutes later. These were miniature limousines with double fake leather benches, facing each other at the back. There was a minibar with expensive multicolored drinks and sugar-soaked snacks, the sapiens’ primary source of calories and high Gs space travel drug. For the sensitive, the smart-fridge provided diet sodas with aspartame, but no one took it. Finally, there were free Gauloise cigarettes next to the ashtray on the armrest. And even Tylenol! “What a time to be alive!” Right after leaving the fashion district, a soft voice of a young woman, who appeared to us through the armored porthole separating her from her customers, finally emerged from the cockpit: “Good evening! I’m Miss Meera. At your service. Hotel de Saint-Malo, correct?” I nodded. She smiled at us. She was beautiful with her incredibly dark night metal skin that contrasted strongly with her silvery-white hair. She also had charming ivory eyes with absolutely no reflection. They were a mesmerizing void of light. In fact, it was so rare to deal with a real person, and not an AI, that we engaged rapidly in a lovely and honest discussion with Meera. We were mostly talking about life on the Danaë. As she stated, the rules on board were very strict, even military. All was done to make sure that the customer had the most pleasant time at the expense of everything else. Finally, according to her, her condition wasn’t the most to be pitied in the cosmos. And she was fully satisfied with this precarious semi-nomadic existence. “And what about you? Are you here on vacation or in transit for work?” she eventually asked. “What do you do for a living?” Should we have told her that we were executing infamous people so Ali would collect expensive t-shirts and I could fulfill my nicotine addiction? “Don’t get me wrong but I saw that you had a gun. Are you in the police… or are you pirates?” It wasn’t the first time someone asked us this question. Although weapons were allowed on most ships and stations, it wasn’t wise to display them unless you were looking for trouble. Unfortunately, hiding such a large caliber under such a tight vest was a Herculean task. “You can get much farther with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone”, simply quoted Ali, her forehead against the window covered with scented stickers. Meera laughed before continuing: “Very well, Al Capone. I understand that you’re not the type to let yourself be taken advantage of.” The taxicab entered the central expressway after the water park then suddenly swerved violently to the left. “What is going on?” I gasped. After crushing the safety railing, we fell from one rotating bridge to the other in a frantic cavalcade. Judging by Meera’s swear words, this ride wasn’t part of the show. Avoiding the stalls of an art market and a group of children coming out of an arcade, the driver finally managed to recover in extremis. It was about time, because within seconds we were passing through the transparent protective wall of the hotels’ deck. “A thousand apologies! Another one of those mor… clients from the Middle System who doesn’t know how to use a rental car,” she shouted through the window. “Are you guys hurt?” “No, thanks to you,” I replied, my tail spiked over my head, taped to Ali’s neck now decorated with bloody scratches. Although my human forehead now had a bump on it the size of a golf ball, it was true that Meera had just saved our lives. This young girl had unsuspected driving talents despite taxicabs’ lack of handling. She didn’t belong here, playing the steward in a yellow circus uniform. This woman should have been a fighter pilot; or a NASCAR driver on Canyon Creek. “In any case, here you’re almost in front of your hotel,” she replied. “You don’t have to pay anything, and I apologize again for the scare.” From the outside, the taxicab now looked like a can of nutrigel after going through a crusher. Yet, it still worked. May God Darwin bless Venusian steel. After thanking her, we wished Meera a good day. But the cockpit window suddenly went down on the passenger side. The smile of the driver had faded. She had tears at the corner of her white eyes. “Wait!” she asked. “This weapon… do you really know how to use it?” So, life on the Danaë wasn’t so sweet. As Meera explained to us in a secluded alleyway, a trio of criminals had come to threaten her a few days earlier, after finding she was a bodacious driver. They were preparing a heist in one of the flying city’s fifty casinos. The young woman was now ready to pay the price to settle the case. “What is your opinion about this whole situation?” I asked Ali, once in our room, a small yet cozy suite whose glass walls overlooked the vacuum of space. My human had applied a brownish ointment on her hump, which disappeared soon after, leaving only a slight pinkish hematoma. “Meera said she would provide us with more details tomorrow. However, if she ponies up the cash, I don’t see why we would refuse. We ain’t mercs but these three guys must have a bounty on their heads. Let’s do our job, right? “Indeed…” All we had to do was wait for more instructions. Fortunately, it had been months since we had been able to take days off except on miserable gas stations full of drug addicts, implants scavengers and prostitutes. After another morning of shopping, Ali went to the thalassotherapy center of the neighboring hotel. Her main occupation? Overeating sushi made by 3D nutrigel printing while getting massages. Alas, I didn’t have the time to bask under the false sun of the lakeside resort and get my belly stroked. As a good captain, I had to go to the maintenance to fix the numerous damages of the Kitty. As always, the bill would be higher than expected. Everything was orchestrated so that we would never hold a positive balance in this corrupted system. We had to chain contract after contract. But Meera’s gig didn’t sound right. There was something I didn’t like and I couldn’t catch it yet. All my cat sensors were in the red. Unfortunately, the bounty hunter’s ones only saw the green of the bills. Don’t judge me. The young taxicab driver had finally contacted Ali again by holoconference in the early afternoon, shortly before I joined her at the exit of the tanning booths. Or as I called them: human toasters. “Have you finished roasting like a Thanksgiving turkey?” I asked her as she plunged into the icy water of the adjacent basin, under the lustful gaze of a group of cadets from the Marine Academy. “Meera will pick us up with a new taxicab in the hotel parking lot,” she whispered once back to me. “Alongside her, we will meet two of the criminals at the burglary location, shortly before midnight.” “Go on.” “We take care of these guys and we catch up with the last one: the band leader, in the storage cavities of the hangar reserved for the ship’s logistics. Below the last rotating ring.” In Eve’s costume, Ali came out of the basin, not without deliberately drenching me. The water had a nasty chemical taste from being filtered day after day. “Do you have any intelligence on these jokers?” I insisted while lighting a cigarette. “The Broadway Gang. Three brothers. C$45,000 for the trio. We will also be able to recover at least C$10,000 of Techno-federal tax on their ship depending on its condition. Easy cash with the dollar credits that Meera promises us…” Now sitting on the ledge, my partner splashed her feet to demonstrate her eagerness to head back swimming. “Excellent! This will pay for the maintenance and allow us to save some money on our way to the belt.” “Can I go now?” she asked, sliding back into the water. “You may,” I had concluded before seeing her leave for her absurd wanderings that would fill her afternoon. I myself was very busy making eyes at the wealthy guests of the hotel restaurant to glean a few pieces of Peking duck or juicy crabs. They were real farm animals from Mars. Not nutrigel. It was worth abandoning a little dignity aside. With a full belly, I finally joined Ali in the middle of the evening. Arriving in the corridor of our suite, I crossed the group of cadets noticed near the swimming pool. They seemed tired but blissfully smiling as they just discovered the nirvana. And I knew why… “Ali? Are you ready?” I said as I walked through the half-open bedroom door. Her dressing gown had been thrown on the floor. Her gun and badge were resting on the bedside table against a giant bottle of Koala Springs soda and a pyramid of little Yoyo Mints. To be honest, I expected a bigger mess. “Gimme five minutes,” she replied while in the shower. An hour later, we met Meera in the staff parking lot behind the recycling stations. Without further discussion, we joined the expressway in the taxicab. Between two noisy info-ads, the radio played Sweet Transvestite then the rest of the mythical Rocky Horror soundtrack. “I wonder what Tim Curry’s up to these days,” asked Ali while browsing the intraweb on her implant. “Being legendary as usual,” I answered. Afterwards, the casino was in sight. But once on the forecourt illuminated by the gold and silver bulbs, we heard gunshots and screams. My partner and I quickly realized that this was a violent robbery rather than a modest heist. “What the fuck, Meera?” Ali asked, turning to the porthole that separated us from the cockpit. There was a hint of irritation in her voice. Meera remained mute, her hands on the wheel and her gaze forward. In the rear-view mirror the young woman looked panicked. The right door of the vehicle suddenly opened and two men sat down in front of us. They were wearing theater masks: the first was Melpomene, the sad grimace of tragedy; the second, Thalia, the twisted smile of comedy. Each brigand carried a huge metal block under his arm; drawers that were sure to be full of cash. On the other hand, they held their still smoking ZeG-4 machine guns even more firmly. When they saw us, they both gasped, in unison: “What the fuck, Meera?” One… two. One… two. Four holes in their faded tuxedo. Four bullets as big as a cat’s eye that silenced them forever, before slowly repainting the bench in red. “What the fuck was that? You killed them!” Meera shouted this time, as she started the electric engine. “You had tasers at your disposal, you psychos!” She had finally turned around. Her voice was quivering. She was no longer panicked, but angry. The tasers must have slipped between the seats because I hadn’t seen them. My partner raised her eyebrows and it made me realize that their use had never been in mind. “We’re bounty hunters, not 9 to 5 social workers!” continued Ali. “Now, you gotta motor, otherwise the cops will shoot our ass on the spot before we could even meet the third dude!” Meera put her foot on the pedal and one could almost hear the noise of the thrusters melting the white asphalt. “I can perceive the sirens, Ali,” I concluded before Meera entered the ring's external road reserved for logistic transport. We then had the shortest car chase we had taken part in. The Danaë security forces may not have had the best elements in the system, but Meera’s talents didn’t give them a chance. We had crossed half a dozen rotative bridges to the rhythm of Take on Me, zigzagging between expressways and maintenance tunnels to arrive before the song ended at the deserted logistics hangar. It was similar to a huge supermarket with honeycombed shelves. Each of these garages, dimly illuminated by red LEDs, housed a delivery or transport vessel. There was the most impressive fleet I had ever seen. In one of the first level’s cells stood, between a set of clamps, a Swift-0 scout, from Peugeot Corp, with wings spread. The Swifts were small and very high-end single-seaters. They could be modified to integrate weapons systems, but their primary characteristics were velocity and evasion. Leaning on the flank of the mono-turbine, the last of the three criminals, a tall blond man with a “Chevy Chase” prominent chin was looking down on the approaching taxicab. “Were they planning to escape on that ship? The three of them?” I remarked when the vehicle stopped a few meters from the small vessel. But Meera ignored me. “Hand me the money, I’m going out. That was the agreement.” The porthole opened at its base, allowing us to pass the steel cash drawers. Once the taxicab’s ignition was turned off, only their holographic numbers glowed in the dark. “It’s all over if his cronies don’t stick their noses out of the car,” Ali replied, finally giving the second drawer away. “He’s going to figure out that it went south. He will kill you!” Outside, the man was getting impatient. Blinded by the taxicab’s headlights, he came closer before exclaiming: “Zéphyr, are you there? Where are my brothers? Security is closing all the departure modules. We will be stuck here, for fuck’s sake!” He now had a gun in his hand. A machine gun identical to those of his companions currently bathed in their blood, nailed to the seats. “Zéphyr? Wait… I know that name!” I meowed to myself. The doors and portholes of the taxicab were locked. Ali and I were now stuck in the back with the two flatlined and most wanted criminals on the ship. “Sorry guys, but I’ll handle the rest.” Miss Meera, alias Zéphyr, smiled at us through the armored glass just before leaving the cockpit by the driver’s door. “What a fucking piece of shit… Lee? Do you have a plan? I think the windows are bulletproof. I don’t feel like testing. Especially if it’s bouncing around with us inside, we will be turned into ground beef!” “Did you forget who I am, my dear?” I was already crawling under the seat, between a pair of Méduse shoes and half nibbled fried rat wings. It was time to demonstrate all my infiltration skills learned from Ninja Gaiden. Unfortunately, both the crab and the duck slowed me down and my belly remained for a few seconds stuck under the driver’s seat with my head on the brake pedal. How outrageous! From the porthole, I saw Ali watching what was happening in front of us, near the ship. Our eyes met for a brief moment and I could read on her lips: “diet kibble”. “Better off dead!” I shouted. My paw reached the bottom of the dashboard, activating the mechanical opening of doors and windows. And, accidentally, the loudest horn in this dimension. “My bad!” My sapiens immediately jumped outside, pointing her gun to Zéphyr. Surprised by the thunderous din, her target pivoted towards us, uncovered, turning her back to the human with the magnificent chin and his ZeG-4 who yelled: “What in the whole universe is that? Wait! I know her! Did you bring us bounty hunters? You were clearly planning to double-cross us!” The man shouted and his gun produced a rain of bullets. It first hit the windshield of the taxicab, passing through the conductor compartment where I was. The rounds bent the windscreen, but it held. This wasn’t, however, the case for the hood, protecting the engine and the reservoir full of coolant, which ended up covering the seat and my face. Fortunately, the sticky alcohol allowed me to escape from this trap and jump out of the vehicle through the window I had previously opened. But, once again, a fire ring enveloped the ZeG-4’s cannon. “This is how I die…” I meowed, eyes closed. I was violently tackled and hit the ground. Zéphyr had saved me at the last moment, just before bullets obliterated the front of the taxicab. Other projectiles ricocheted off the metal money drawers on the floor and got lost in the ceiling, activating the fire sprinklers. This incident triggered a silent light alarm throughout the hangar while the mobster prepared a new salvo. “Don’t hurt my pilot, you narbo!” roared my partner. Ali, this time taken as a target, retaliated. She fired a single shot towards the rascal with a formidable precision. No one knew how to handle such a heavy gun as she did. She was my human. She was the best in her field: murder. And I taught her everything. Almost. The leader of the robbers tried to reload the magazine of his weapon, unaware that his heart had been punctured a few seconds before. Adrenaline was doing its job. But the blood loss caused by the explosion of the aorta at its base, near the ventricles, gradually stopped him in his gesture. His pressure dropped and the bloodstream no longer reached the brain sufficiently. He was already in a coma when his shoulders touched the ground. He was luckier than the average Joe and died a few seconds later. “Is everything all right?” My voice was trembling, still in shock from this disaster. I was wet and frozen. Zéphyr got up with difficulty. Next to us, one of the metal drawers was opened, revealing a bunch of green bills and a much stranger booty: an eight-inch gold diskette with suspicious Chinese symbols. Well… I couldn’t read them but Chinese symbols on stuff are always suspect, aren’t they? But there were more important matters. Because my partner, on the other hand, stayed on the ground. Blood was dripping from her black suit and mixed with the clear firefighting fluid that was falling like an endless rain. I tried to talk to her again but my voice was lost in a groan. “Why are you whining, you big baby? It’s just blood.” With her nose in a puddle, my sapiens smiled at me. Her left hand was compressing her abdomen. The bullet had passed through the external oblique muscle, far from the stomach. It wasn’t that bad after all but she had scared me. And that deserved a scratch on the wrist that made her scream: “What the fuck?” “And the medical expenses? Have you thought about medical expenses? We don’t have insurance!” “God, Uncle Scrooge! I hate you!” “We won’t be able to fix the Kitty with your heroic outbursts!” I fulminated to mask my joy of seeing her in one piece. “I will kill you, Muppet! I almost died! I don’t give a fuck about your rusty trash can which flies like a brick!” It was true that we hadn’t had a fight for a long time. “Guys…” intervened Zéphyr. “What?” Ali and I had spoken together. “These three ruffians had planned to steal the diskette drive from me once I got back. I needed a hand, so… thank you… I guess.” “You’re welcome,” my human answered dryly while sitting. Although Zéphyr saved me, I didn’t share the same kindness: “Wait, we’re not letting him go! Do you know who he is?” Zéphyr. Prince of thieves. And yes, he wasn’t much of a princess either. Just an androgynous cyborg. A breakout king wanted throughout the entire system for his affiliation with the Data Brokers’ Guild. With an incredible bounty of C$800,000, she or he… whatever… was the knight of the brokers’ chessboard. “I think we’ve had enough for today,” Ali said. “Unless you hope to go after him with these big fat guts of yours.” “By the 79 moons of Jupiter, you shall pay for this, woman!” I meowed, angry. My ears were backwards and my hairs were spiky. But soaking wet, it just made Ali and Zéphyr laugh. Disgrace! “He’s so cute when he’s furious,” he joked. Now on his knees, the night-skinned androgynous was blotting Ali’s wound with a torn piece of fabric from his driver’s uniform. “But more seriously, I need to go. With the bounty, you’ll be able to repair your vessel. As for the hospital fees, I will contact a good friend who will take care of you for free. She’s the ship’s chief medical officer.” “Thank you,” I simply replied as he helped my partner get back on her feet. “It’s the least I can do. I wasn’t interested in money. More important information is contained in this,” he said as he was picking up the floppy disk. This golden diskette must have been worth a lot of cash for Zéphyr to play a taxicab driver to ensure coverage. I had perceived that something was fishy! Then, halfway to his Swift-0, Zéphyr stopped. I witnessed his hesitation. “There was nothing personal, you know. We’re all just trying to make our way. The best we can…” And he ultimately left before adding: “Maybe we’ll see each other again! You seem like fun.” Before fleeing away, Zéphyr abandoned one of the boxes near the criminal’s corpse. Thus, he validated the theory of a robbery that had gone wrong. When the security arrived a few minutes later, we were the heroes of the day. And with a little bribe, nobody cared about Zéphyr’s missing ship. This whole story surely left us a bitter taste. A feeling of defeat and humiliation that the swimming pool under the synthetic sun couldn’t make disappear even a week after. “He undoubtedly played us as we were rookies, with his little face of a young innocent girl in distress,” I said to Ali right after the end of the daily Brett Maverick. This old show was dispensed on a couple of giant screens suspended by drones. Until now, Ali had remained silent on her deckchair; with a brick of sour juice stuck between her breasts and a pair of straws between her teeth. Only inaudible grunts emanated from her mouth since the departure of the sexually unclassifiable mugger. “I wonder what information this fucking cyber-Tootsie could have been looking for in that casino,” my human mumbled as she squeaked her rainbow flip-flops. “Admit that it’s not really that question that puts you in such a state…” I answered, now well installed on my motorized buoy that I had gotten as a gift in a diet kibbles package. “You bet! I will have a nasty tan mark on my stomach with these bandages!” she exploded, spitting out her plastic straws with infinite curls. My float slipped towards the ledge as a robot came to bring us our next glucose overdose. Ali finally added: “I swear that if we run into him again, I’ll smack his fucking angel face.” Back to business!
Chae’Sol stood at the centre of a large command deck, meticulously peeling the protective film from his new captain’s chair. The sensation of the slow but steady yielding of the film, the sweeping line following the contours of the seat in flowing curves; it was incredibly satisfying. Finally, with one last gentle pull, the last of his chair was uncovered and he stood back to admire his throne. Aside from the freshness of the seating itself, there were shiny new holo displays, touch sensors, and comms relays that were within easy reach of his seated fingertips. This ship would be the jewel in any fleet, a prototype Dreadnought made by the infamous Bardul of Shi’an. The Gowe Military faction had run into financial problems, and it had been left unpaid and unclaimed. What sorcery Kadir had used to find it, and purchase it, he did not know. His comms unit beeped and Danyd’s voice came through. “Chae’S-” -He grumbled incoherently- “Captain, we’re ready to get underway.” The Niham turned and sat back on his pristine chair, swinging his long legs over the armrest. “That was quick, Chief Engineer Ef’Yto” Danyd grunted at the use of his title. “Aye, these Awakened are efficient bastards.” The Satryn looked around at the enormous engineering bay. The entirety of the Porkchop Express could comfortably sit inside, and two of them could likely squeeze in. “Plus, this thing has never been used; feels weird not having anything to work on. It’s state of the art, and I’m having to read the manuals on half the new systems.” Chae’Sol laughed, looking around at the Awakened as they were preparing their workstations. “Yeah, this command deck is a little intimidating. Even the Niham Armada didn’t have ships like this. There are fifteen weapons stations here, what in Tulseria’s name were the Gowe planning to do with this thing?” “No idea.” The chief engineer walked to the large seat in front of his new work terminal, and hopped up onto it. The protective covering squeaked. “This thing has more firepower than half their fleet, it must have been something big. We’re lucky Kadir found out about the graveyard of unclaimed ships from one of his contacts.” The newly-minted captain swung his legs down and sat up, straightening his black uniform and white collar. “That’s another thing: how does he have so many contacts? I was in the Tulseria-damned military, and I had no idea they would sell us fighters and weapons.” “I know the feeling.” Danyd watched a junior engineer – Lily, an Awakened who wore a headband in her silver hair that sported long Kittran ears on it – begin running diagnostics on the Hoban Field Generator. “I'm aware he got the automated weapons for the system port from my people, somehow. As for how he accomplishes all he does, I think his time working with that fancy Anatidae councillor opened more than a couple of doors for him.” Chae’Sol stood, running his fingers through his perfect hair. “Doors, windows, rear entrances and damned secret portals, all leading to a dark realm of shady deals and supplies. We have an Imperium Capital Ship for Tulseria’s sake! Nobody knows where he got it, or where he’s now hidden it.” He looked at his holo display, noting the specks springing blinking into existence as the other ships of Federation origin came to life. “Let’s just be glad he’s on our side.” The chief engineer tugged at the green collar to his uniform. “Our side used to be a damn sight smaller.” Lily had finished her diagnostic tests and sent the results to his console. Her report included an adjustment that would create a potential three percent increase in crystal efficiency, and a small drawing of a smiling leokit with a crim-bar. He groaned, then reported back with, “We’re ready to go when you are.” The Niham strode confidently across the command deck, stopping to stand in front of the huge vid screen at the front of the room. All around him were his crew, made up mostly from the Ashi, Awakened, and Kasurians. “Let’s get this show started.”
Jaym sat with a bowl of Tony the leokas cereal in front of her. It wasn't just a catchy advertising slogan - it really was great. She and Elizabeth had worked together so much in the engineering section of the Porkchop Express that they had become close, often spending their free time together. Indeed, Elizabeth currently sat opposite her, carefully rebuilding a power coupling and occasionally tapping at her datapad. Shortly after the results of her most recent tap played out, Elizabeth paused her work on the power coupling. Without speaking, she held up her datapad so that Jaym could see. On the screen was Tony and his mate Jolie, and Skeena’s voice could be heard excitedly talking about collecting urine samples from the female. Jaym screwed up her face at first until Skeena announced the pregnancy test was positive. Tony was going to be a father! She couldn't contain her joy and screamed loudly, grabbing the screen and running all the way to the bridge to show the others. Ranjaz was stretched out across the captain’s chair as Jaym burst in, and didn’t open his eyes until she began shaking his leg. Even then he didn’t pay much attention. “I told you not to let Elizabeth play with any more systems till after the mission.” She blushed slightly, as their last improvement had inverted their water treatment system and blown six power couplings. "It's not that!" she said, holding up the datapad and starting the video. "Look!" At the first syllable of Skeena's voice, Ranjaz sat bolt upright. The video held his full attention, and when Tony's impending fatherhood was announced the Kittran's whoops of delight could be heard all through the Porkchop Express. He reached underneath his seat and retrieved a small, fluffy bed, then picked up Aiov. Ranjaz led his unusual dance partner in a quick spin of joy before replaying the GalacTube video for her. “You’re going to be an Aunty!” Eruwenn leaned back in the large seat that had once been Embar’s. “I didn’t think they were related?” The Kittran nodded. “Aiov is Tony’s sister. Aaron adopted them both, and that’s how human families work. They just keep adding members, like a Dular adding shells to its burrow. Family is family.” Cygna pressed a few buttons on her Navigator terminal, moving the video to the main screen as well as starting it over. “I still can’t believe you keep one of these under your seat. I mean, it’s a leokas!” Ranjaz held Aiov up and they briefly rubbed noses. “Just a little one!” The Anatidae laughed. “I can see living with the human has had quite a profound effect on you.” With one of his trademark grins he held Aiov out towards Eruwenn. “Wanna nose rub?” "Ah," the councillor said, shrinking back from the offer, "despite her size she is still a predator, and I am not quite ready for such a close encounter.” From the pilot seat Ripley stood, taking Aiov from Ranjaz. “She is not a toy.” She briefly snuggled the tiny leokit to her chest, then passed her to Jaym. “Take her for food and exercise; she must grow up strong.” Jaym also cuddled the wriggling Aiov close, and not just because the little leokit was adorable. Aiov had tripled in size, and was becoming a bit of a handful. “Thor was preparing her food; I’ll take her down to him.” Once the junior engineer had left, and Ripley returned to the pilot seat, Ranjaz began tapping on the console in front of him. “Looks like we’ll be free to take the shuttle down to the surface with the next group.” Cygna drummed her fingers on the arms of her chair. “I didn’t realise it would be so busy.” Ranjaz shrugged. “There was a quake on the fourth planet, so mining colonies are shut down while the nerds poke around. Along with that, we got three big freighters waiting for resupply. That’s a lot of bored folks looking to kill time.” Ripley grunted, prompting a chuckle from the Kittran. “You don’t approve of their choice of leisure activity?” After their few cycles together Eruwenn was already learning a lot about her shipmates. Ripley, for instance, wasn’t one for talking. She decided to interject before the Captain irritated her too much, as they would need her focus soon enough. “Gambling and pleasure palaces are not to everyone's taste, of course, but these sorts of things are covered under local governance.” Without skipping a beat Ranjaz replied, “I know that’s the official line, but you sure as shit have tax codes for all of it. If you want to look down on folks, don’t pretend you aren’t profiting from it.” Cygna, ever defensive of her mentor, jumped in. “That’s a bold statement for someone who never paid a credit in tax until it was automatically deducted from his Galactic Federation pay.” Ranjaz laughed, then continued, keeping his voice care-free. “Taxed on what? I never owned anything.” Eruwenn could see the trap her junior was walking into but decided to let this be a learning experience. The Kittran was wily, and the Anatidae found him entertaining. Cygna, as she had predicted, scoffed at his claims. “I’ve read your file. When you were arrested you had a ship, five shuttles and thousands in valuable goods confiscated.” “Exactly!” His eyes lit up as he cornered her. “It was confiscated because it was stolen, so I didn’t own it. Imagine a world where you can keep stolen goods if you pay tax on them. Even I think that’s crazy.” The Fae’Dan paused, and the anger evaporated from her voice as she realized what he had said, replaced by a slightly impressed tone of surprise. “Well, maybe, but… Really? You stole all of it?” Ranjaz shrugged. “Or won it. I’m pretty good at Dalcho.” Cygna perked up. “I play Dalcho myself, we shou-” “No,” Eruwenn interrupted. Some lessons were too expensive. “Do not play Dalcho with someone who can get free priority entry permits to a casino.” The former operative shook her head. “I’m a great player, you’ve seen me in the council chambers. I took that Ley’Rulian trader for five hundred credits.” The Anatidae smiled kindly. “And he had five shuttles when he was arrested.” Cygna slowly turned from Eruwenn to Ranjaz, noticing his grin and the sparkle in his eye. It was most definitely the smile of a predator. He gave a little chuckle. “Don’t worry, it’s been a long time since I played. No gambling on Galactic Federation ships, you know.” He laughed again. “Oh wait, you read my file.” The Fae’Dan nodded. “Perhaps we should focus on the mission.” She gave a slight bow to Eruwenn before returning her attention to her console. Ranjaz looked at Eruwenn and stuck out his tongue. “Don’t ruin my fun!” The Ambassador smiled. “I don’t play Dalcho, but there is a human game called chess I quite enjoy. Perhaps we could play sometime?” The Kittran gave a nod. Keeping his voice neutral, he replied. “I don’t know that one, but there’s another human game we could try. Poker?” "We have permission to dock at the holding ring and send down a shuttle," Ripley abruptly called out. "Let’s get this whatever it is and make the rendez-vous.” Both of Ranjaz’s fangs showed as he grinned. “If we’re going to pull a job on Chisola Prime, first you’re going to need to look the part!”
Aaron walked down the corridor of the Hive ship, the strange spiderlike creature trailing behind him as he followed one of the corpse vines as it receded deeper into the ship. He turned and watched the creature, which shrank back from him and crouched low to the ground. “I’m sorry I kicked you. You simply startled me; you don’t have to hide.” The lighting never changed in the endless corridors of the ship, and only the most uninteresting of doors deigned open for him. At this point, he had lost track of time completely. Through perseverance he’d made several important discoveries. The bulbous shapes in the flower vase room were seats; he was fairly certain of that after finding another room with bodies sitting in them. The vines that came for them were the ones he was now following, and by now he must have seen hundreds of dead Hive. The second discovery was that the Hive came in a variety of shapes and sizes. There were two main ones, as far as he could tell, and the first were the four legged kind that had so kindly thrown him in the rejuvenating jelly bean. The second was bipedal, and looked a hell of a lot meaner. While the ones he deemed workers looked somewhat like ants to him, in shades of reds and browns, the second type looked much more commanding. Their carapace had thicker layers of armour in green, gold and red, and was spiked at the shoulders and joints. Even their legs had spines and to top the look off their heads were much more angular. Whether they were soldiers, commanders, or something else, he didn’t know. Through observation of the corpses he had discovered the most confusing feature yet: a strange section in the centre of their abdomen that was filled with what seemed to be a grey fluid. Ahead of him, not skittering away like the rest, was an aphid that no longer emitted a pale green glow. Something whooshed overhead towards the slow and sluggish aphid, and Aaron instinctively threw himself to the ground before he realized what it was. "That's how you get kicked!” He stood up, brushing himself off. “Fuck, that scares the ever-loving shit out of me every fucking time.” The huge creature looked up at him and whined as it munched on the sick aphid. He was probably imagining the apology in its eyes, but Aaron still shook his head. “I know, I know. It’s your job. They clean the floors, you keep their population healthy. Just stop leaping over me like that, fuck. I’m going to have a heart attack.” It whined and backed away from his angry words, and he tried to keep his voice to calmer tones. “Don’t be like that. I’ve told you enough times.” When he looked down the corridor again, the retreating corpse vines had disappeared around a corner. Aaron began to jog after them, and after he'd put some distance in he heard the pattering footsteps of his terrifying shadow. He tried to pay it no mind. Once the vines were back in sight he slowed and followed behind them, singing his direction song quietly to himself. “Left, right, straight. Left, left, right. Straight, straight, left, left. Right, right, straight, right, right.” The ship was massive and, other than some areas smelling funkier than others, there was no variation in lighting, decoration or layout. The song was his map back to the rejuvenation pod, which was his only safe source of hydration. His companion padded along behind him, a friendly nightmare to accompany him on his seemingly endless journey. “We really need to give you a name.” He wished he had his phone with him so he could channel all his nervous energy into making a video. “The audience demands a name. Plus, I won’t be able to sell merch without one.” He turned and looked at the creature. “I’ll probably have to create space-halloween first, or maybe I’ll get lucky and find that you’re cute to some species.” Aaron returned to following the corpse vine, waving a hand high as he spoke, gesticulating to the heavens. “The name is what matters: a good name makes all the difference.” He began seriously pondering the naming matter. “Aragog, Shelob; you know, lean into your size for a characterization. But then again, that's not really going to make people like you.” He looked back over his shoulder as the unnamed beast trotted happily behind him. He assumed happy, at least. It now tended to make an odd gurgling noise after eating, and it roamed closer to him than before. “You know, I never got to name Sassie – she’s my dog. I told you about her yesterday, or the day before.” He really was losing track of the days he’d been here. “I got her from a rescue. She was skinny, and so damn angry, with scars on her legs and under her fur. I had to have special visits before I could keep her. Prove I was worthy.” Talking helped take his mind from the gnawing emptiness in his stomach. Hydration and nutrients osmotically obtained from some weird pod were nowhere near as satisfying as a burger and a cold beer. “Her first visit, she had a rubber ball. It was her only possession, and she loved it.” There was a touch of pride in his voice. “Took me an hour before she gave it up to play. The lady from the rescue centre said I was the first.” He choked up, blinking back tears. “Anyway, couple more visits and she got to stay. Crazy dog was such a handful. She once tried to climb a tree to chase a squirrel. Got her legs over the first branch and just dangled, kicking her back legs.” He began chuckling to himself. “She once tried to jump through a car window; some guy was parked at the lights as we walked past.” He was just chatting now, lost in his memories as he walked. “You know the type, loud radio, windows rolled down on a sunny day, annoying the shit out of everyone in the town. He tossed some litter out of his window and she just launched herself at him. Scared the life out of me at the time - funny as fuck now, of course.” He laughed again. “Then there were the swans. Man, were they not ready. She loved to swim – I told you that before – swimming and splashing was her favourite release. Well, that and chasing rabbits which is, kinda, how I ended up here. Anyway, she would just swim up and down, right past the ducks and stuff, somehow never interested in them. Then one summer these swans came along...” He paused, realising his new friend didn’t know what a duck or a swan was, or even summer, probably. Before attempting to explain, he realised they also didn’t understand english, so it really didn’t matter. “Anyway, swans being belligerent bastards, I called her out of the water straight away. Those mean white fuckers chased her all the way to shore.” He turned around, now grinning broadly. “But, once her feet hit the ground in the shallow water and she was able to stand, did those sons of bitches turn and swim away as fast as they could.” He paused, trying to remember his original point. He really was very hungry. “Oh yeah, so trying to stop her fighting everything that moved meant I didn’t have time to teach her a new name. Figured it would be confusing to her. Sassie she was, and so Sassie she stayed.” There was a tightening in his chest as he thought of her missing him. “Took a lot of years and a lot of time for her to get where she is now. I know Alexa will take care of her, but still, it’s my job, and I need to get back to doing it. She won’t understand…” He choked up completely, taking a moment to compose himself before clearing his throat and returning his monologue to its original course. “Anyway, names. Names matter.” “Maybe you’re a girl monster. Charlotte?” He shook his head. That name just didn’t seem fitting. “We could call you Peter Parker? Although, you’re more of a man-sized spider than a spiderman... Parker Peter? Then again, big, scary spiders say one thing to me. Australia. You like to jump, we could call you Roo? Or, how about Ozzy? Or Bruce? Hmm, that’s a sharks name though… can you swim?” His train of thought derailed suddenly as he saw an open door ahead of them through which the vines were receding. The pair of them continued walking behind the vine until it disappeared into the doorway and Aaron ran forward, pulling something from his pocket. He’d been saving the foil wrapping from the ration bricks, folding them together to form a wedge. He jammed his makeshift door stop under the bottom corner of the door as it began to slide shut. It ground to a halt. “Boom! Told you it would work.” He stood and finally looked into the vastness beyond. Through the doors was, somehow, a rolling meadow, complete with trees, giant mushrooms and plants he had no name for. Vines were also everywhere, receding further across the great wilderness. “What the hell? I thought I was on a spaceship? Am I underground?” Staring intently at the sky, he stepped onto the deep moss beyond the door. He looked at the wall around the interior and saw it was rock, and more plant life clung to every crack and crevice. As he walked slowly forward his eyes followed the vine as it headed for a large, colourful, monolith. He approached and saw that its shape was similar to the vase flowers. He watched as the corpse vines deposited their cargo on top of the monolith. Not on, he corrected himself;they were dropping inside. He looked back to the door, nervous that it might close and lock him in. A large black shadow lurked just beyond the door, and he was torn. Should he explore this 'outside' world, or retreat to the place where he at least had the rejuvenation pods? He looked up at the sky, basking in the warm and invigorating embrace of the sunlight. He blinked at the brightness, being cautious to not look at the sun directly, and something else suddenly caught his eye. It was, incredibly, a door. A door that floated in the sky. The thing about human eyes is that they might be easily fooled, but a shift in perspective can easily change what you see to something entirely different. Aaron was looking up at a ceiling, like the one in the Atrium back on the Azrimad, but a hundred times more convincing. Once back inside the doorway he watched the spiderling he was beginning to think of it as a friend dancing back and forth a short distance away. It seemed… happy. “Ok buddy, I’m back.” Aaron’s stomach made a loud gurgling sound and he rubbed it, trying to squeeze the hunger away. Fingers found muscle easier than usual, and he knew he was definitely losing weight. “We should head back. I need sleep.” He thought for a moment and made a final decision, bending down to pull the foil wedge clear. “I doubt there’s a communicator or command deck in there. Let’s go home, Ozzy.” The trip back was uneventful, Aaron sang his direction song as they navigated the labyrinth. A few more aphids were snacked on by his leggy companion, but his own legs were heavy by the time he was almost back to the jelly beans. Despite being exhausted he had made two stops to create another pair of flower vases for the aphids, as well as scattering a ration brick as he passed by. The aphids waited, as they always did, till he and Ozzy were far enough away before enjoying his bounty. Still, the human derived satisfaction from their presence. Exhausted and weary, Aaron was glad to finally make it back to the room he was reluctantly calling his temporary home. As the door to the rejuvenation pod slid open he was met, forcefully, by the barrel of an energy rifle. Unfortunately for Aaron, due to a considerable height difference, the barrel had struck him squarely in the groin, and he instantly fell to his knees. He came face to face with his attacker with tears in his eyes, clutching his tenderness and coughing. From the other being came incomprehensible yelling, as well as a lot of gun waving. Also, there was coughing. Aaron, eventually mustering enough self-presence to do something other than deal with the after effects of the gun-to-groin encounter, wiped the moisture from his eyes and tried to butt in to the one-sided conversation. "Relax! I'm the one who just got snookered in the fucking balls, here! Why in the world are you so mad?"” The gun was pressed to his forehead by the tiny attacker, who shouted something unintelligible with their black eyes focused on him. They paused to cough, then stepped back, glaring at Aaron until they seemed to feel comfortable enough with the situation to take one hand off of their weapon and pull out a datapad. They held it up, and Aaron frowned at the familiar but still unintelligible colours that swirled on the screen. Then a small vent at the bottom of the device squirted out a puff of sickly sweet scent. Aaron pulled back from the odour. "What the fuck was that?" With some distance between them, the human finally got a good look at his opponent. They were barely waist-height, furry, with a long nose and dark banding across their brown fur. The banding was heaviest across their eyes and although that’s where the similarities ended, it was enough for the human’s brain to forge a connection. “Listen, Rocket, there’s a virus on this ship. You need to get in the jelly bean. Trust me.” The rifle was thrust at him shakily in one hand, the tablet again was raised and a swirl of colours and shapes greeted him. “I don’t speak fucking winamp plugin!” On the wall behind his captor Aaron spotted a dull orange aphid, struggling to climb the wall. He smiled as he slowly leaned to one side. “Have you met Ozzy?” The huge arachnid leapt over them both, causing the newcomer to blindfire at the wall. Aaron seized his chance and snatched away the weapon. He grabbed the newcomer by the front of their armoured uniform and slammed them to the ground. They cried out in pain and began their incomprehensible yelling once more. The accompanying coughing fit was bad, and Aaron dragged them to their feet. Realising that his solitude had caused him to revert to English, he switched back to galactic standard to offer a warning about the disease. “You’re going to die!” A shocked look crossed their face as the human effortlessly lifted them and slam dunked them into a blue jelly bean. Ozzy gurgled happily through his aphid crunching. Aaron snatched up the energy rifle, but found it was difficult to hold due to its small size. He leaned over the jelly bean, noting the occupant drifting off to sleep. Hunger and tiredness were forgotten as adrenaline flooded his system. There was no way the newcomer was alone. He left the pod room to begin searching, and Ozzy seemed to pick up on his intention and followed behind, keeping close to the human. “Good boy!” He had no idea what prompted it, likely some automated response, and it was as though he watched his movements from outside of his body as he reached back and gently scratched the arachnid's head. He was rewarded with happy gurgles, or at least that's what he hoped the noises were. “You did good back there.” He made his way along the corridor towards the same airlock he had once chosen as his final exit. His recent suspicion proved correct as he heard a strange sound up ahead, as if someone was running a wet finger around the rim of a glass. He carefully leaned around the curve and saw another figure, dressed in the same uniform as the first. No fur on this one, although they were equally small in size, and they somehow looked like they were made of glass which couldn’t decide on a colour. This time he remembered to use galactic standard. “Keep your hands where we can see you. We’ve got you surrounded!” The figure was clearly startled, as the ambient resonating noise began varying wildly in pitch at the same moment as their colour shifted to a solid blue. Aaron cursed. He didn’t have a translator, having instead opted for learning standard and winging everything else. The whole federation knew standard, so he hadn’t truly considered getting the implant. “Something is wrong with our translators,” he continued to bluff. “Do you speak galactic standard?” A datapad was hastily pulled from a pocket, and as buttons were pressed the resonating sound became more rhythmic. From the datapad sprung noises. No, it was a voice! “Why do you speak Procyon? Where is Commander Bertolannixostraphes? Aaron began relaxing at the situation he found himself in, but inside he was brimming with joy. Finally, he could talk with someone! “There is a virus on this ship, and many are dead. If your commander is the raccoon-looking guy, I got them into a healing pod. They’re going to be fine.” Under his breath he added, “probably.” The resonating began and shortly afterwards the voice translated, “Who are you? Why did you not answer our communications.” Opting for honesty in the hopes of leniency, Aaron stepped into view. “I’m a passenger. I don’t have access to the ship's systems.” The newcomer was looking at the tiny gun, so the human tossed it forward. “I didn’t know if you were friendly. I can take you to your friend, and you should probably get treatment as well.” The now-orange alien walked forward, their movement accompanied by the strange sound of ceramic plates rubbing together. “That won’t be a problem, we Tricinic do not catch meat diseases. I am Tsy'lo, take me to the commander.” They turned to look behind them. “Where are the others?” Aaron pointed to Ozzy. “It’s just us two.” Colours swirled and the small glass person thrummed. The datapad spoke, “You are the last human, the Ambassador. Correct?” Turning and gesturing to be followed, he began to lead the way to the rejuvenation room. “I am the first human, Ambassador Aaron Cooper, professional bounty hunter. Just call me Aaron. Are you the rescue party? Is Alexa here? Did she bring Sassie?” It took a moment for the translation to come back. “I don’t know those names. We are the Special Tactics and Rescue Squad and we responded to distress calls and found this ship. Adrift.” They had walked a little way when Tsy'lo stopped and regarded Ozzy, who was still faithfully following behind. “Why does the achalo follow you?” “Ozzy?” Aaron shrugged. “I think he was lonely. So, were you sent into Hive space to find me, or are you on some top secret mission? You aren’t with the Sentinels, are you?” “Lonely? But it is an achalo.” Tsy'lo was confused and their colour visibly swirled. “Why would a rescue mission be secret? And, we weren’t sent, we were already here.” Now it was the human who was confused. “Like spies behind enemy lines? Is that why you are in Hive space?” The Tricinic hummed at a higher frequency. “It is our space. We are the Hive!”
Admiral Pelar of the third fleet stood in the centre of the training mat. On the floor around her were four tough looking Ashi, while a fifth was now squaring off against her. She blocked the jab and the surprise knee strike that followed, turning effortlessly to bring her elbow to her opponents ribs. With another deft turn she was behind him and kicking his knees forward. He tried to roll clear but she had anticipated the move and, as he rose, her spinning boot struck the side of his head. “Nice try gentlemen.” She walked away and caught a towel thrown by the drill instructor. “That last one has potential,” she said, and the drill instructor nodded. “Next time, I expect at least one of them to land a hit. If not, I’ll have you in the ring instead, to make sure you still have what it takes.” She saw the fear in his eyes. “I accept nothing but the best from the Third Fleet.” The medics ran onto the mat as she dabbed at her forehead, and she spotted Jar’Bek sitting on a bench nearby. She walked over to him and he stood, straightening what was no doubt an extremely expensive suit. “From one disappointment to another.” The lawyer smiled. “Imagine only seeing your son when he is paid to be in your presence,” he countered. She smirked. “Your tongue is still your most deadly weapon.” He nodded. “Ah, but it must make you proud to see me make use of the things you taught me.” Her face twitched. “I taught you to be a true Ashi, a soldier. I taught you to respect-” Jar’Bek held up his hand. “I’m here on my client’s business, not yours. And, as I am paid a considerable sum per gal, let us not waste their money on matters that are concluded.” He enjoyed the irritation on her face. “I am here to finalise the amnesty treaties, and conclude your membership as citizens of Earth.” The Admiral held up her hands, looking down at her combat training clothing. “I must shower and change first. Please, wait for me in my private office.” She smiled politely. “No.” His smile seemed to hover as if it was a mask that could slip at any time. “You may have disowned me, but I still remember your tricks. You knew the time of our meeting; you had me brought here so you could intimidate me with this display of aggression. Then you ask me to wait in your office amongst your memorabilia and trophies.” He watched the anger behind her eyes. “You really think these tired old tricks will work on me?” She sneered. “At least you remember something.” “Oh, I had the scars removed, but I kept the lessons.” He walked away. “My client's time is valuable and I have scheduled a meeting with the other fleet Admiral’s for later this cycle. Since we have no time for your games, let us go to the briefing room. My team is already set up. If you wish to shower, know that it is more of your negotiating time you are wasting, and I do so hate waste.” He collected his briefcase and walked out of the room. Captain Loring hurried after Jar’Bek, catching him as he entered the elevator. “You sure you want to antagonise the Admiral like that?” He leaned back against the wall of the elevator and relaxed, letting out a small sigh. “A little negotiating trick a Kittran taught me. Anyway, she is no longer my Admiral.” Elora’Tan leaned back on the opposite wall. “She is your mother, Jar.” “Ha.” Jar’Bek laughed. “She disowned me. This is the first contact we’ve had in I forget how many celes. Her first thought is to try and intimidate me with that display. She likes to beat on cadets, she likes to cause pain, and she wanted me to watch.” Loring gave a weak smile. “It forges strong soldiers. We can’t afford weakness.” The elevator stopped and Jar’Bek took a step closer to Elora’Tan. “You think it was weakness that made me leave?” He didn’t let her answer, turning and exiting into the hallway. His voice now resonated with authority as he growled, “In case you people have forgotten, the Ashi will operate under the same rules as the rest of the colony. My mother is not the law... I am the law.”
DM not-so-subtly blames me for the material I've used for the character and "being overly active"
CritCrab's videos got me here, and praise be, I've found a place where I can share my story! This has been on my mind for a while as one of the bad attempts to find a D&D group to play with online. I don't have much luck still and almost always either meet a group which embraces things that I consider personal red flags or exclaim "everyone needs their own group". Nevertheless, this one I thought I had to get off my chest. I'm a player with great focus on doing RP - which I enjoy a lot due to my love for doing voices and creating characters with distinctive values and traits. I'm often loud, but not the "angry" loud - the "attempt to insert the joke" loud. Though I do my very best not to speak over others or drop hijinks out of place. When it comes to TTRPGs I'm on the instigating side (which is a sin, I know) but most people I played with for very short periods of time were too.... passive, I'd say? Anyway, to the story... Playing TTRPGs (mostly 5e, the only system I've ever played so far aside from Shadowrun) online these days mostly means using roll20. Which I did. Browsed through the LFG like crazy and managed to find a game that seemed interesting:A permanently nighttime (due to some magical issues of the world), snowy world with plenty of dwarves and creatures living in such frigid conditions. Sounds great - exploration in the snow and living through the blizzards is pretty cool as a constant natural hazard to deal with.Well, at least I thought so. That was on me - to expect that this would matter, because it never came up once. The DM told me that this group has been playing for some time - 5 players, 1-2 of which joined half a year ago and the others played from the start, for a whole 1 year. Cool - people that already know each other and won't squabble. They know their pet peeves and won't start anything. Their only collective target could be me, and I'm a guy that goes with almost everything except the aforementioned "red flags". The party was at level 8 at the time and consisted of:
A dragonborn cleric/sorcerer with the essential need to cause trouble wherever she goes, referring to it as "being the storm that will happen and nothing can stop it". On paper, that sounded fine to me, but when I heard from others that she was setting buildings ablaze, starting bar brawls for no reason whatsoever and had a very clear "Violence is always the first and best solution" personality trait, I started to doubt whether I'm playing with a Chaotic Neutral or with a Chaotic "Neutral" (the kind that is basically a murderhobo with no understanding of consequences).
An..... aasimar, I think (?) warlock who was famous for constantly lying to everyone and using Disguise Self to look like someone else completely. I wasn't there for a long time so I didn't actually get to know who he was, but he was an aasimar when I first met him. A very chill guy, though he hadn't made it in the two sessions I was last in.
A tiefling bard, probably the nicest person in the group. Her forte was talking to people whe the aforementioned warlock wasn't there and was keeping the spirits up.
A centaur ranger which I knew very little about and used mostly as a "social shield" (explanation later). What surprised me was that it was a melee, double-axe-wielding ranger. Great stuff.
A half-elf wizard which I also knew very little about, though he was constantly suspicious of my own character.
And lastly, myself: a homebrew race that I had asked DM to consider and (and this is important) approved with just the slightest bit of hesitation, but after reading through the features he approved of it. My character was basically a sentient meat slime (think Gibbering Mouther) with closed mouths and eyes all over their body that looked like a human. I picked the Path of the Beast Barbarian to fit with the aesthetic of a monster character that had instincts to attack anything that threatens them and asked the DM for some small changes that I thought would be organic in exchange for certain lack of features (most notably, lack of proficiency with any armor or weapons). The DM approved without even the slightest bit of tension. I thought "Sweet, I can finally play the character I've wanted for so long!" My joy didn't last.
The very first session my character had felt a certain level of tension with the dragonborn cleric and the party in general. They were ascending the mountain my character used to live under and was ascending it to see the sights for once. Once ascended, their companion said "You've come here to be tested, so come at me!" Initiative was rolled, the fight has begun. Fitting for a monster but after some hesitation (my character doesn't like to fight or kill unless enraged and it's an absolute must, which is ironic considering that they must consume freshly killed beings to stay sentient), I charged in as soon as I could. With claws and a grin wider than humanly possible, everyone noticed that I wasn't human.Although that didn't carry past the fight, which we had won somehow - we were only supposed to damage the guy enough, and that was understandable because he was Bahamut in human form. After being beaten, he has taken off, giving us the quest to kill one of his "misguided" evil offsprings. After that came repercussions. The group noted that I'm strange and definitely not a human, and the dragonborn cleric retained a heavily suspicious attitude towards me for the entirety of the time I was there. To note, for the time I was with the party, I had done nothing to cease the dragonborn from following her antics except questioning her about why should she apply violence to everything, wrapped up in a simplified logic used by my character (my character saw the living beings as either "humans" or "monsters". Humans are kind, understanding and capable of abstaining from violence while monsters embrace violence, kill to consume or just for fun etc. I thought that would fit the recently created consciousness of a former monster). I know the logic was oversimplified and party members told me there were layers to it, but the fact stands - I've never done anything to impede their actions and instead volunteered to help wherever I could. Next session we headed over to the dwarven town built inside a hollow mountain where they would "report". My character, living in a cave for their entire existence, started checking out what city has to offer - trying to grab food from the stalls but being shoo'd away without payment, asking about what everything is etc. That ceased after the dragonborn just vanished. Apparently, this was her thing - to walk off from the party to do something she wants (namely to start trouble) and for the rest of this session she was basically a spectator in Discord. I was also using the centaur as a "shield" to hide from prying eyes - my character was afraid of too many people. He didn't mind though. We came into a hotel/casino to report on the matter to a gnome captain of the guard. After the party did (my character was too scared to talk to anyone or even lift their hood up), the half-elf wizard decided to ask the gnome about me. After taking a walk to the wrong room (he led us downstairs, to a literal sex dungeon), we went upstairs into actual rooms. There, for some reason, our wizard decided to flat out tell the gnome what I was. The gnome jumped in place in panic, and that was the basic que for me to run. He attempted to stop me with spells, but, being a Barbarian with no armor on, I outran him (he was an Arcane Trickster Rogue so he was just a bit short on distance) and crawled on the bottom part of the pillars within the mountain which the city was built upon.After hiding for a while, the warlock has found me and convinced me through his familiar to come down and come quietly. I did, and we went back to the gnome to explain ourselves. After a poorly-placed lie by the warlock, the gnome effectively exiled the entire party from the city and left to gamble. Following a conversation between everyone present (and a couple of bottles of brandy), the warlock walked off to find the dragonborn and we decided to leave. On the 3rd session, just as it started, the aasimar went missing and I was told that it's "just what he does" (he couldn't make it for personal reasons). So I decided to make amends for the accident I've inadvertently caused. As such, I went back to the casino, found a gnome and, with all possible might that my character could muster (they spoke in broken sentences, lacking articles, skipping and using small words only) groveled before him and asked for forgiveness. It worked and he said that this is the last time. We needed to go to the coastal city to find a dagger that the party was tasked to obtain by the gnome, plus Bahamut's offspring lived somewhere close to it. So we needed to get on a caravan. After a short trip to the guild (where my character was just as curious about everything and everyone as previously), we managed to sign up to guard a caravan in exchange for a lift. But just before we've set off, a deva descended upon the city's market and started yelling something among the lines of "if you don't forgive the adventurers you've exiled, doom will befall this city!" The party told me that it was definitely the aasimar doing his thing. I guessed that this was what he wanted his character to do while he was out, so he wouldn't know that we were already forgiven. Still, we've set off, but somewhere along the way, in the sudden blizzard, we were ambushed by a Nuckelavee (a flayed horse with an upper body flailed human attached to the horse) and a bunch of Yeth Hounds. That said, they basically gave us a fright and nothing else. But they killed everyone in the caravan. So, after disposing of the bodies (my character wanted to chomp them down because "nobody will need corpses" and the ranger said I have a point, but the dragonborn refused to accept that. There was no fight, just two verbal attempts to convince her) on the pyre, we pressed on. During that travel, we've met a Christmas (was a bit too late for that, but we had to skip a session due to holidays on 1st of January) troupe of..... I think it was fey.... that offered us shelter and food. After that, we've managed to stumble upon a "Stonehenge" with 2 gnolls chanting and chowing down on humanoid bones and corpses. I decided to sneak in there and got a pretty decent score to see that there was indeed only two on that hill and they're both occupied. After some arguing, we've decided to kill them next session. Before that though, I had a discussion with the DM about my racial ability, which was to scream incoherently, basically casting Confusion in a small radius around me for 1 turn. This affected the party during the fight with Bahamut, and I was worried that friendly fire was an issue. So I proposed to the DM once again to find an alternative to that feature. He said that he'd be willing to listedn, so I presented one - a once-per-day melee attack that deals damage equal to d6 times my overall level. He argued that it was too strong at first and proposed it to be a half of my overall level, to which I responded that I deal that same damage with all attacks on my turn regardless (Path of the Beast Barbarians with claws get 3 attacks, plus my unarmed attack which was a d6 due to a racial feature), in addition to comparing a once-per-day attack with a fireball (which deals 8d6 in an area, can be used multiple times or upcast). Those arguments swayed him to agree. In exchange for that, I asked him that he would give me no magic items at all for some period of time, which was a pretty big deal - the party was kitted out with magical gear and I was running around naked, with only a torn cloak, bandages all over my body and a warm shirt I bought with money I've found on previous victims. So when the fight started on the last session I was present for, I opened up with the newly invented Chomp ability. I rolled a crit on my attack and did 50+ damage to one of the gnolls. I was ecstatic and a bit afraid.... but from the noises I heard in my earbuds, I guessed that the party was mortified. "That's bullshit" I heard from the wizard. Me and DM explained that this is a once-per-day attack and it only dealt so much damage because it crit. Still, the wizard was having none of it and demanded me to hand over the stats for the attack, which I did. He remained mostly silent for the rest of the session. Due to myself almost oneshotting one of the gnolls (the DM said I managed to chomp 25% of his head and brain with that attack) and the expert usage of illusion magic by our bard, we managed to kill Fang of Yeenoghu and Flind without taking damage. Afterwards, it was smooth sailing to the city. We did hear the wailing noises resembling child's cry in the woods, but we assumed that those were more Yeth Hounds and didn't tempt fate. We also did run into a ruined and frozen village, which we had assumed to be destroyed by the Bahamut's offsrping still flying in the distance, but that was just to show how much that thing needed to go. In the city, our first priority was to tell everyone that the roads were crawling with evil fey, about the ruined village and the goat-headed flayed menace. For which we went to the local fort and had to wake up a guard on the wall (I climbed up the wall and threw a pebble at him) to let us in. The bard did the talking, got us the information where to get a possible ship to the island with the dagger and then it turned to a debate on what should we do next - to go after the dragon or after the dagger. I instantly said that I'm not going to cast a vote as my character more or less follows the party because they have nobody else to turn to and will go with whatever, and as a player I had no attachment to the dragon quest or the dagger yet. That remained undecided, as the dragonborn (whom we've left outside the city because she stayed there) has vanished after we came back for her. As always, wizard has contacted her to figure out where she went, but the typical "I'll find you guys later" answer has followed. After a small (I thought it was cute-ish) encounter with me buying and trying out fish (also unsuccessfully trying to buy a whole-ass pickled shark), we've hit up a tavern. Wizard used Sending to tell the dragonborn where we would be and that ended the session. After the session has ended, I apologized to everyone for bringing "testing" to the table and immediatelly agreed that the attack had to go. I contacted the DM about it and he said the same. I told him that I was willing to be penalized for inventing and trying such a feature, but no reply followed. This was the last session I ever took part in. After a couple of days, the DM has left me a "parting message" saying that he shouldn't have let me design stuff for myself and outright saying that I went too far with the homebrew (mind you, he basically approved everything without the slightest bit of hesitation), that I didn't belong in the group and they all decided to they're better off without me. That was instantly followed up with a roll20 game kick and a discord server kick. The story of that game came to an end for me, I felt sad for a while, but I've decided to recollect some factors that were happening during the game:
Despite the party having two face-type characters, they did very little talking outside of going forward with the designated quests. There also were huge pauses in-between people talking on what they were going to do, which I usually broke up with ".... shall we go?" There was no RP in-between characters unless I instigated said interaction by asking question in-character. Later on, I asked the DM and some players, but I got mixed messages - the DM said they were more talkative before and the players said they are just not the talkative type. All of them. That sounded like my very presence was getting on their nerves.
Members of the party with buffs targeted exclusively the members of the original party. Aid always came onto the original caster, dragonborn cleric (she was heavy on melee) and someone else. Never on myself, despite being a Barbarian with natural Barbarian armor and mostly relying on a giant hit point pool. Now I would understand if the one doing the buffing was the dragonborn - she distrusted me. But it was the bard - the person my character was incredibly trusting towards and she shared the sentiment.
The tendency to walk off and do their own thing seemed to be a norm among the party, and the cleric was constantly expected to get into trouble. I was questioning that IC as to why they wouldn't just let her stay in prison or be killed - she creates this trouble without anyone being involved and deserves to suffer the consequences. This question was never given an answer. Only the warlock once said "if she dies, we can resurrect her". To this day, I still don't understand why.
Not a single player has shown their dislike towards me or the character. I tried socializing with them for a bit (mostly the warlock, the dragonborn and the bard) and it went well. Though I've stopped sending them private messages after a while, there was absolutely nothing indicating that they disliked my presence and the DM said nothing about it, only after I asked him if I'm "hogging the spotlight" he responded with "a bit, but it's not an issue".
I understand that my.... performance as a player isn't exactly what one would call stellar. But this example more or less sums up my entire experience as a player in D&D so far. But all this time, I ask myself "is my luck really that terrible or am I a terrible player at the table?" Or why would a DM open an LFG thread for a game if the group's reaction to the "new guy/girl" is..... that. I don't want to call it ostracizing, but I get the feeling that this is what happened. Or I'm actually an awful player. TL;DR: Player joins the game, uses homebrewed assets which the DM approves, the party seemingly dislikes the new player and soon after DM kicks them for "going too far with the homebrew".
[H] A Ton of Bundle Games (IndieGala, Humble, and Fanatical) [W] Nov. Humble Monthly Games (Not Darksiders III or Yakuza Kiwami)
I already own Darksiders III and Yakuza Kiwami 2, so I figured I'd just skip this month and trade for the other games on here. I haven't updated my list in a long time, so there may be one or two games that I don't have anymore, but I still own most of them. So far, the games I'm looking for are: Imperator: Rome Deluxe Edition Crying Suns Darksburg Little Misfortune Smile for Me Darkwood Tsioque Rover Mechanic Simulator Youropa Townsmen - A Kingdom Rebuilt The ones that I have for trade are: Humble Gift Link - The Uncertain: Last Quiet Day Knights of Pen and Paper 1+2 Collection Road Redemption This War of Mine Throne of Lies The Online Game of Deceit Torchlight Torchlight II The First Tree One Deck Dungeon Skybolt Zack Golf With Your Friends - OST Codex of Victory Conglomerate 451 Deep Sky Derelicts Gift of Parthax Haimrik Quantum Replica Re-Legion Shiny Through the Woods The Inner World Pixel Heroes Byte & Magic Safety First! SEUM: Speedrunners from Hell The Textorcist: The Story of Ray Bibbia + Soundtrack Vambrace: Cold Soul Soundtrack Vampyr AER Memories of Old Ken Follett's The Pillars of the Earth State of Mind Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War II Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War III Warhammer 40,000: Sanctus Reach Warhammer: End Times - Vermintide Batman - The Telltale Series Batman: The Enemy Within - The Telltale Series Oxenfree The Walking Dead The Walking Dead - 400 Days The Walking Dead: Michonne - A Telltale Miniseries The Walking Dead: Season Two Astebreed Definitive Edition LiEat Mitsurugi Kamui Hikae Momodora: Reverie Under The Moonlight GET EVEN Carcassonne - Tiles & Tactics Mysterium: A Psychic Clue Game Small World 2 Splendor Twilight Struggle Gabriel Knight: Sins of the Father Black The Fall Children of Zodiarcs Deadbeat Heroes Forgotton Anne Goetia Tokyo Dark The Turing Test Train Valley 2 A Good Snowman is Hard to Build A Mortician's Tale Alien Spidy Broken Age Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons Brutal Legend Darksiders II Deathinitive Edition Darksiders Warmastered Edition DUCATI - 90th Anniversary Europa Universalis IV Fahrenheit: Indigo Prophecy Remastered GNOG Hacknet HIVESWAP: Act 1 Hollow Knight LEGO Batman 3: Beyond Gotham Lostwinds Magicka Music Maker EDM Edition PAC-MAN CHAMPIONSHIP EDITION 2 Party Hard Pikuniku Psychonauts Rebuild 3: Gangs of Deadsville Sniper Elite 3 Speed Brawl Stealth 2: A Game of Clones Stick Fight: The Game Super Hexagon SUPERHOT This is the Police Tilt Brush Tropico 4 Undertale VVVVVV World of Goo Worms Revolution Zombotron Dead Rising 4 Devil May Cry 4: Special Edition RESIDENT EVIL 2 - All In-game Rewards Unlock STRIDER Reigns Reigns: Her Majesty Equilinox MagiCat Samorost 3 1 Screen Platformer A Glider's Journey Adventure Boy Cheapskate DX Animal Super Squad Anomaly 2 Anomaly Defenders Anomaly Korea Anomaly: Warzone Earth Anomaly Warzone Earth Mobile Campaign Artemis: God-Queen of the Hunt Balancelot Bastion Cathedral Chivalry: Medieval Warfare Clatter Dead by Daylight - Of Flesh and Mud Dead by Daylight - Spark of Madness Deadlight: Director's Cut Dino Run DX Downtown Drift Draw Your Game Drink More Glurp Jingle Jam Challenge Invisible Inc. Kalaban Kingdom: New Lands Motorsport Manager Must Dash Amigos Nemo Dungeon Neverwinter: Vestments of the Wind Pack Ninja Senki DX PAC-MAN CHAMPIONSHIP EDITION 2 Potatoman Seeks the Troof Pumped BMX + Rapture Rejects Rebound Dodgeball Evolved Red Horizon Rogue Rocks Scanner Sombre Songs of Skydale Stories: The Path of Destinies Super Chicken Catchers THE TEAR YORG.io Chasm Fluffy Horde Regular Human Basketball Fairy Fencer F: Advent Dark Force Complete Deluxe Set Megatagmension Blanc + Neptune VS Zombies (Neptunia) Moero Chronicle Neptunia Shooter Superdimension Neptune VS Sega Hard Girls Trillion: God of Destruction Beckett Everything Rusty Lake Hotel The Stanley Parable Thomas Was Alone Yume Nikki YUMENIKKI -DREAM DIARY- Game Character Hub PE: DS Generator Parts Game Character Hub PE: Second Story Game Character Hub: Portfolio Edition RPG Maker MV RPG Maker MV - GENE RPG Maker MV - MADO RPG Maker MV - SAKAN RPG Maker VX RPG Maker VX Ace RPG Maker XP Visual Novel Maker + Live 2D Evergarden Shenmue I & II SYNTHETIK: Legion Rising Bridge Constructor Portal Portal Knights SEUM: Speedrunners from Hell Staxel Tricky Towers When Ski Lifts Go Wrong Planet Alpha Puss! The Spiral Scouts Cat Quest HIVESWAP: Act 1 Immortal Planet Pillars of Eternity Tyranny - Standard Edition Carrier Command: Gaea Mission Pound of Ground Take On Helicopters Take on Mars Ylands Distance God's Trigger Guacamelee! 2 MOTHERGUNSHIP DISTRAINT 2 Rusty Lake Paradise Unexplored The Adventure Pals Almost There: The Platformer Yoku's Island Express 60 Parsecs! Love is Dead Road Redemption Clustertruck Diaries of a Spaceport Janitor Party Hard Punch Club SpeedRunners Duskers Paratopic Pool Panic Red Faction Guerilla Re-Mars-tered Black The Fall Octahedron The Turing Test I'm not a Monster Wandersong 11-11 Memories Retold Impact Winter Little Nightmares PAC-MAN™ Championship Edition DX+ Project CARS Genital Jousting Highway Blossoms Just Deserts Purrfect Date Sunrider Academy Sunrider: Liberation Day - Captain's Edition Among the Sleep - Enhanced Edition Tooth and Tail Dandara MINIT Steel Rats 12 is Better Than 6 BLACKHOLE Cook, Serve, Delicious! 2!! Kingsway kuso Soft Body Way of the Passive Fist Slipstream Dear Esther: Landmark Edition GoNNER Headlander Ken Follett's The Pillars of the Earth Shadow Tactics: Blades of the Shogun Bleed 2 Rapture Rejects Rock of Ages 2: Bigger and Boulder Sniper Elite 3 Interplanetary: Enhanced Edition Worms Clan Wars Animal Super Squad Anomaly 2 Anomaly Defenders Anomaly: Warzone Earth Blade & Bones Board Battlefield Clicker bAdventure Cloudborn Convoy Cube Link Deep Dungeons of Doom Detective Case and Clown Bot in: Murder in the Hotel Lisbon Don't Stand Out Dungeon Escape Fahrenheit: Indigo Prophecy Remastered Flux8 Freaky Awesome Guns of Icarus Alliance Collector's Edition Hackyzack The Haunting of Billy Hello Pollution! Hyperdrive Massacre Indecision. Kabounce Lakeview Cabin Collection Last Encounter LOVE Lucius Demake Marvin's Mittens Match Point No Time To Explain Remastered Race The Sun R-COIL Road Doom Slime-san Super Steampunk Pinball 2D Sure Footing Switchblade Starter Pack Temple of Xiala Throne of Lies The Online Game of Deceit Tower 57 Tross Unit 4 Wizorb Zero G Arena Colt Express King and Assassins Kentucky Route Zero RWBY: Grimm Eclipse War for the Overworld + Heart of Gold DLC The Dwarves Resident Evil Revelations Gremlins, Inc. Old Man's Journey Pathfinder Adventures Talisman: Digital Edition Carcassonne - Tiles & Tactics Talisman: Digital Edition How to Survive 2 Darksiders II: Deathinitive Edition 12 is Better than 6 Bear With Me - Collector's Edition Dungeon of the Endless Jalopy NBA Playgrounds Action Henk JYDGE Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes Kingdom: New Lands Laser League Holy Potatoes! We're In Space?! Grand Theft Auto: Episodes from Liberty City Grand Theft Auto III Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Filthy, Stinking, Orcs Sanctum 2 Grey Goo Sorcerer King: Rivals Green Man Gaming - CRUSADER KINGS II WARHAMMER END TIMES VERMINTIDE INJUSTICE GODS AMONG US ULTIMATE THE FLAME IN THE FLOOD FROZEN SYNAPSE PRIME BEAT COP SUPER CLOUDBUILT THE LITTLE ACRE INSURGENCY FEAR 3 DEAD AGE MAGICKA SERIAL CLEANER CASTLEVANIA LORDS OF SHADOW 2 FAHRENHEIT REMASTERED OPERATION FLASHPOINT RED RIVER ROCKET KNIGHT LEGO BATMAN BIOZONE ADR1FT Fanatical - Autonauts Guards How to Take Off Your Mask ENIGMA: Garfield Kart Stronghold Legends: Steam Edition Styx: Master of Shadows Among the Sleep - Enhanced Edition EARTH'S DAWN Do Not Feed the Monkeys Rain World Shadwen Syndrome The Technomancer Chess Ultra Arcana Heart 3 LOVE MAX!!!!! 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TikTok’s Community Guidelines and this means they dont care if they dont get in trouble for it.
2 Parts here, second is down below. And you probably wont believe it or you already know about it and this proves it. How TikTok is supporting our community through COVID-19 Community Guidelines Introduction Violent extremism Hateful behavior Illegal activities and regulated goods Violent and graphic content Suicide, self-harm, and dangerous acts Harassment and bullying Adult nudity and sexual activities Minor safety Integrity and authenticity Platform security Introduction Last updated, December 2020 TikTok's mission is to inspire creativity and bring joy. We are building a global community where people can create and share, discover the world around them, and connect with others across the globe. As we grow, we are committed to maintaining a supportive environment for our community. Our Community Guidelines define a set of norms and common code of conduct for TikTok; they provide guidance on what is and is not allowed to make a welcoming space for everyone. At TikTok, we prioritize safety, diversity, inclusion, and authenticity. We encourage creators to celebrate what makes them unique and viewers to engage in what inspires them; and we believe that a safe environment helps everyone express themselves openly. We deeply value the global nature of our community, and we strive to take into account the breadth of cultural norms where we operate. We also aim to cultivate an environment for genuine interactions by only allowing authentic content on TikTok. Our Community Guidelines apply to everyone and to everything on TikTok. We proactively enforce them using a mix of technology and human moderation before content gets reported to us. We also encourage our community members to use the tools we provide on TikTok to report any content they believe violates our Community Guidelines. We will remove any content – including video, audio, livestream, images, comments, and text – that violates our Community Guidelines. Individuals are notified of our decisions and can appeal if they believe no violation has occurred. We will suspend or ban accounts and/or devices that are involved in severe or repeated violations; we will consider information available on other platforms and offline in these decisions. When warranted, we will report the accounts to relevant legal authorities. Our algorithms are designed with trust and safety in mind. For some content – such as spam, videos under review, or videos that could be considered upsetting or depict things that may be shocking to a general audience – we may reduce discoverability, including by redirecting search results or limiting distribution in the For You feed. We recognize that some content that would normally be removed per our Community Guidelines could be in the public interest. Therefore, we may allow exceptions under certain circumstances, such as educational, documentary, scientific, or artistic content, satirical content, content in fictional settings, counterspeech, and content in the public interest that is newsworthy or otherwise enables individual expression on topics of social importance. In consultation with relevant stakeholders, we update our Community Guidelines from time to time to evolve alongside new behaviors and risks, as part of our commitment to keeping TikTok a safe place for creativity and joy. Violent extremism We take a firm stance against enabling violence on or off TikTok. We do not allow people to use our platform to threaten or incite violence, or to promote dangerous individuals or organizations. When there is a threat to public safety or an account is used to promote or glorify off-platform violence, we may suspend or ban the account. When warranted, we will report threats to relevant legal authorities. To effectively protect our community, we may consider information available on other platforms and offline to identify violent and extremist individuals and organizations on our platform. If we find such individuals or organizations on TikTok, we will close their accounts. Threats and incitement to violence We consider incitement to violence as advocating for, directing, or encouraging other people to commit violence. We do not allow threats of violence or incitement to violence on our platform that may result in serious physical harm. Do not post, upload, stream, or share: Statements of intent to inflict physical injuries on an individual or a group Statements or imagery that encourage others to commit or that advocate for physical violence Conditional or aspirational statements that encourage other people to commit violence Calls to bring weapons to a location with the intent to intimidate or threaten an individual or group with violence Instructions on how to make or use weapons with an intent to incite violence Dangerous individuals and organizations We do not allow individuals or organizations on our platform who promote or are engaged in violence. We remove such individuals and organizations, including mass murderers, serial killers and rapists, hate groups, criminal organizations, terrorist organizations, and other non-state armed groups that target civilians. Terrorist organizations Terrorists and terrorist organizations are non-state actors that threaten violence, use violence, and/or commit serious crimes (such as crimes against humanity) against civilian populations in pursuit of political, religious, ethnic, or ideological objectives. Organized hate Organized hate refers to those individuals and organizations who attack people based on protected characteristics, such as race, ethnicity, national origin, religion, caste, sexual orientation, sex, gender, gender identity, or immigration status. We consider attacks to include actions that incite violence or hatred, dehumanize individuals or groups, or embrace a hateful ideology. Criminal organizations Criminal organizations are transnational, national, or local groups that have engaged in serious crimes, including violent crimes (e.g., homicide, rape, robbery, assault), trafficking (e.g., human, organ, drug, weapons), kidnapping, financial crimes (e.g., extortion, blackmail, fraud, money laundering), or cybercrime. Do not post, upload, stream, or share: Content that praises, promotes, glorifies, or supports dangerous individuals and/or organizations Content that encourages participation in, or intends to recruit individuals to, dangerous organizations Content with names, symbols, logos, flags, slogans, uniforms, gestures, salutes, illustrations, portraits, songs, music, lyrics, or other objects meant to represent dangerous individuals and/or organizations Hateful behavior TikTok is a diverse and inclusive community that has no tolerance for discrimination. We do not permit content that contains hate speech or involves hateful behavior and we remove it from our platform. We suspend or ban accounts that engage in hate speech violations or which are associated with hate speech off the TikTok platform. Attacks on the basis of protected attributes We define hate speech or behavior as content that attacks, threatens, incites violence against, or otherwise dehumanizes an individual or a group on the basis of the following protected attributes: Race Ethnicity National origin Religion Caste Sexual orientation Sex Gender Gender identity Serious disease Disability Immigration status Do not post, upload, stream, or share: Hateful content related to an individual or group, including: claiming that they are physically, mentally, or morally inferior calling for or justifying violence against them claiming that they are criminals referring to them as animals, inanimate objects, or other non-human entities promoting or justifying exclusion, segregation, or discrimination against them Content that depicts harm inflicted upon an individual or a group on the basis of a protected attribute Slurs Slurs are defined as derogatory terms that are intended to disparage an ethnicity, race, or any other protected attributes listed above. To minimize the spread of egregiously offensive terms, we remove all slurs from our platform, unless the terms are reappropriated, used self-referentially (e.g., in a song), or do not disparage. Do not post, upload, stream, or share: Content that uses or includes slurs Hateful ideology Hateful ideologies are those that demonstrate clear hostility toward people because of their protected attributes. Hateful ideologies are incompatible with the inclusive and supportive community that our platform provides and we remove content that promotes them. Do not post, upload, stream, or share: Content that praises, promotes, glorifies, or supports any hateful ideology Content that contains names, symbols, logos, flags, slogans, uniforms, gestures, salutes, illustrations, portraits, songs, music, lyrics, or other objects related to a hateful ideology Content that denies well-documented and violent events have taken place affecting groups with protected attributes Claims of supremacy over a group of people with reference to other protected attributes Conspiracy theories used to justify hateful ideologies Illegal activities and regulated goods We work to ensure TikTok does not enable activities that violate laws or regulations. We prohibit the trade, sale, promotion, and use of certain regulated goods, as well as the depiction, promotion, or facilitation of criminal activities, including human exploitation. Content may be removed if it relates to activities or goods that are regulated or illegal in the majority of the region or world, even if the activities or goods in question are legal in the jurisdiction of posting. Criminal activities Criminal activities cover a wide spectrum of acts punishable by law, including theft, assault, human exploitation, counterfeiting, and other harmful behavior. To prevent such behavior from being normalized, imitated, or facilitated, we remove content that promotes or enables criminal activities. Do not post, upload, stream, or share: Content that depicts or promotes acts of physical harm, such as assault or kidnapping Content that risks the safety of others, including swatting Content that depicts or promotes human exploitation, including human smuggling, bonded labor, domestic servitude, sex trafficking, or prostitution Content that depicts or promotes the poaching or illegal trade of wildlife Content that offers the purchase, sale, trade, or solicitation of unlawfully acquired or counterfeit goods Content that provides instructions on how to conduct criminal activities Weapons We do not allow the depiction, promotion, or trade of firearms, ammunition, firearm accessories, or explosive weapons. We also prohibit instructions on how to manufacture those weapons. Content as part of a museum's collection, carried by a police officer, in a military parade, or used in a safe and controlled environment such as a shooting range may be allowed. Do not post, upload, stream, or share: Content that displays firearms, firearm accessories, ammunition, or explosive weapons Content that offers the purchase, sale, trade, or solicitation of firearms, accessories, ammunition, explosive weapons, or instructions on how to manufacture them Drugs, controlled substances, alcohol, and tobacco We do not allow the depiction, promotion, or trade of drugs or other controlled substances. The trade of tobacco and alcohol products is also prohibited on the platform. Do not post, upload, stream, or share: Content that depicts or promotes drugs, drug consumption, or encourages others to make, use, or trade drugs or other controlled substances Content that offers the purchase, sale, trade, or solicitation of drugs or other controlled substances, alcohol or tobacco products (including vaping products) Content that provides information on how to buy illegal or controlled substances Content that depicts or promotes the making of illicit alcohol products Content that depicts or promotes the misuse of legal substances, or instruction on how to make homemade substances, in an effort to become intoxicated Frauds and scams We do not permit anyone to exploit our platform to take advantage of the trust of users and bring about financial or personal harm. We remove content that deceives people in order to gain an unlawful financial or personal advantage, including schemes to defraud individuals or steal assets. Do not post, upload, stream, or share: Content that depicts or promotes phishing Content that depicts or promotes Ponzi, multi-level marketing, or pyramid schemes Content that depicts or promotes investment schemes with promise of high returns, fixed betting, or any other types of scams Gambling We do not allow content promoting gambling services, or that could be perceived as advertising for casinos, sports betting, or any other commercial gambling activity. Do not post, upload, stream, or share: Content that promotes casinos, sports betting, poker, lotteries, gambling-related software and apps, or other gambling services Privacy, personal data, and personally identifiable information (PII) We do not allow content that violates the confidentiality of personal data or personally identifiable information (e.g., social security information). We remove content that depicts personal data or personally identifiable information (PII) from the platform. Do not post, upload, stream, or share: Content that contains personal data or personally identifiable information (PII) Violent and graphic content TikTok is a platform that celebrates creativity but not shock-value or violence. We do not allow content that is gratuitously shocking, graphic, sadistic, or gruesome or that promotes, normalizes, or glorifies extreme violence or suffering on our platform. When there is a threat to public safety, we suspend or ban the account and, when warranted, we will report it to relevant legal authorities. Do not post, upload, stream, or share: Content of humans that depicts: violent or graphic deaths or accidents dismembered, mutilated, charred, or burned human remains gore in which an open wound or injury is the core focus real-world physical violence, fighting, or torture Content of animals that depicts: the slaughter or other non-natural death of animals dismembered, mutilated, charred, or burned animal remains animal cruelty and gore Suicide, self-harm, and dangerous acts We care deeply about the health and well-being of the individuals that make up our community. We do not allow content depicting, promoting, normalizing, or glorifying activities that could lead to suicide, self-harm, or eating disorders. We also do not permit users to share content depicting them partaking in, or encouraging others to partake in, dangerous activities that may lead to serious injury or death. However, we do support members of our community sharing their personal experiences with these issues in a safe way to raise awareness and find community support. We also encourage individuals who are struggling with thoughts of self-harm or suicide, or who know someone is seriously considering suicide, to immediately contact local emergency services or a suicide prevention hotline. In the event that our intervention could help a user who may be at risk of harming themselves, the TikTok team may also alert local emergency services. Suicide We remove content that displays suicide, suicidal ideation, or content that might encourage participation in other self-injurious behavior. We also remove content that depicts attempted suicide or content featuring a person engaging in behavior or intending to engage in behavior that is likely to lead to self-inflicted death. We prohibit any form of content that promotes, normalizes, or glorifies suicide, provides instructions for suicide, or posts that portray a suicide as heroic or honorable. Do not post, upload, stream, or share: Content that provides instructions for suicide Content that depicts, promotes, normalizes, or glorifies suicide Suicide games, dares, pacts, or hoaxes Self-harm and eating disorders To avoid normalizing, encouraging, or triggering self-harm behavior, we do not allow imagery that depicts such behavior, regardless of the user's intention of posting it. We remove content that may encourage or normalize acts that are likely to lead to physical self-inflicted injury. Content that promotes eating habits that are likely to cause adverse health outcomes is also not allowed on the platform. Do not post, upload, stream, or share: Content that depicts, promotes, normalizes, or glorifies self-harm or eating disorders Content that provides instructions on how to engage in self-harm or eating disorders Self-harm or eating disorder games, dares, pacts, or hoaxes Content that depicts, promotes, normalizes, or glorifies eating disorders or other dangerous weight loss behaviors associated with eating disorders Dangerous acts We define risky activities or other dangerous behavior as acts conducted in a non-professional context or without the necessary skills and safety precautions that may lead to serious injury or death for the user or the public. We do not allow content that depicts, promotes, normalizes, or glorifies such behavior, including amateur stunts or dangerous challenges. Do not post, upload, stream, or share: Content that shows the potentially inappropriate use of dangerous tools, vehicles, or objects Content that depicts or promotes ingesting substances that are not meant for consumption or could lead to severe harm Dangerous games, dares, or stunts that might lead to injury Harassment and bullying We believe in an inclusive community and individualized expression without fear of abuse. We do not tolerate members of our community being shamed, bullied, or harassed. Abusive content or behavior can cause severe psychological distress and will be removed from our platform. Abusive behavior We remove all expressions of abuse, including threats or degrading statements intended to mock, humiliate, embarrass, intimidate, or hurt an individual. This prohibition extends to the use of TikTok features. To enable expression about matters of public interest, critical comments of public figures may be allowed; however, serious abusive behavior against public figures is prohibited. Do not post, upload, stream, or share: Content that insults another individual, or disparages an individual on the basis of attributes such as intellect, appearance, personality traits, or hygiene Content that encourages coordinated harassment Content that disparages victims of violent tragedies Content that uses TikTok interactive features (e.g., duet) to degrade others Content that depicts willful harm or intimidation, such as cyberstalking or trolling Content that wishes death, serious disease, or other serious harm on an individual or public figure Sexual harassment Sexual harassment involves unwanted or inappropriate sexual behavior directed at another individual. We do not allow content, including comments or advances, that sexually harasses others, regardless of user's intent, as such actions can cause great distress to targeted individuals. Do not post, upload, stream, or share: Content that attempts to make unwanted sexual contact Content that simulates sexual activity with another user, either verbally, in text (including emojis), or through the use of any in-app features Content that disparages another person's sexual activity Content that alters or morphs an image of another individual to portray or imply sexual suggestiveness or engagement in sexual activity Content that reveals, or threatens to reveal a person's private sexual life, including threats to publicize digital content, sexual history, and names of previous sexual partners Content that exposes, or threatens to expose, a person's sexual orientation without their consent or knowledge Threats of hacking, doxxing, and blackmail Threatening to hack or dox with an intent to harass or blackmail another individual can cause serious emotional distress and other offline harm. We define doxxing as the act of collecting and publishing personal data or personally identifiable information (PII) for malicious purposes. We consider these online behaviors as forms of abuse and do not allow them on our platform. Do not post, upload, stream, or share: Content that threatens to reveal personal data or personally identifiable information (PII), including residential address, private email address, private phone number, bank statement, social security number, or passport number Threats of blackmail or hacking another individual's account Content that incites or encourages others to hack or reveal another person's account, personal data, or personally identifiable information (PII) An individual's account, personal data, or personally identifiable information for others to abuse, troll, or harass Adult nudity and sexual activities We strive to create a platform that feels welcoming and safe. We do not allow nudity, pornography, or sexually explicit content on our platform. We also prohibit content depicting or supporting non-consensual sexual acts, the sharing of non-consensual intimate imagery, and adult sexual solicitation. Sexual exploitation Sexual exploitation is defined as any actual or attempted abuse of a position of vulnerability, power, or trust for sexual purposes, including profiting monetarily, socially, or politically from the sexual exploitation of another. We do not permit sexually exploitative content. Do not post, upload, stream, or share: Content that depicts, solicits, promotes, normalizes, or glorifies non-consensual sexual acts or non-consensual touching, including rape and sexual assault Content that depicts, solicits, promotes, normalizes, or glorifies the sharing of non-consensual intimate imagery, including sexual images that are taken, created, or shared without consent Content that depicts, promotes, normalizes, or glorifies sexual violence Content that depicts, promotes, or glorifies sexual solicitation, including offering or asking for sexual partners, sexual chats or imagery, sexual services, premium sexual content, or sexcamming Nudity and sexual activity involving adults Nudity and sexual activity include content that is overtly revealing of breasts, genitals, anus, or buttocks, or behaviors that mimic, imply, or display sex acts. We do not allow depictions, including digitally created or manipulated content, of nudity or sexual activity. We are mindful of content that may be offensive or culturally inappropriate in certain regions or may not be suitable for users of all ages. Do not post, upload, stream, or share: Content that explicitly or implicitly depicts sexual activities including penetrative and non-penetrative sex, oral sex, or erotic kissing Content that depicts sexual arousal or sexual stimulation Content that depicts a sexual fetish Content that depicts exposed human genitalia, female nipples or areola, pubic regions, or buttocks Content that contains sexually explicit language for sexual gratification Minor safety We are deeply committed to ensuring the safety of minors on our platform. We do not tolerate activities that perpetuate the abuse, harm, endangerment, or exploitation of minors on TikTok. Any content, including animation or digitally created or manipulated media, that depicts abuse, exploitation, or nudity of minors is a violation on our platform and will be removed when detected. When warranted, we report violative content to the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC) and/or other relevant legal authorities. TikTok considers a minor any person under the age of 18. Users must meet the minimum age requirements to use TikTok, as stipulated in our Terms of Service. When underage account holders are identified, we will remove those accounts. Our platform is designed with the safety of minors in mind and some of our features are age restricted. Account holders who are under the age of 16 cannot use direct messaging or host a livestream; the age thresholds may be higher in some regions. Account holders who are under the age of 18 cannot send or receive gifts via our virtual gifting features. Sexual exploitation of minors Sexual exploitation of minors is defined as any abuse of a position of power or trust for sexual purposes, including profiting financially, socially, sexually, or politically from the exploitation of a minor. Child Sexual Abuse Material (CSAM) is defined as any visual depiction of sexually explicit nudity or conduct, whether captured by predatory adults, peers, or self-generated by minors. TikTok will take action on any content or accounts involving sexual interactions and advances between an adult and a minor, or between minors with a significant age difference. Do not post, upload, stream, or share: Content that shares, reshares, offers to trade or sell, or directs users off platform to obtain or distribute CSAM Content that engages with minors in a sexualized way, or otherwise sexualizes a minor (e.g., via product features like duets) Content that depicts, solicits, glorifies, or encourages child abuse imagery including nudity, sexualized minors, or sexual activity with minors Content that depicts, promotes, normalizes, or glorifies pedophilia or the sexual assault of a minor Content that revictimizes or capitalizes on minor victims of abuse by third party reshares or reenactments of assault or confessions Grooming behavior Grooming behaviors are those in which an adult builds an emotional relationship with a minor in order to gain the minor's trust for the purposes of future or ongoing sexual contact, sexual abuse, trafficking, or other exploitation. These behaviors include: flattery, requests for contact on or off platform, requests for personal information, solicitation of minor sexual abuse material, sexual solicitations or comments, and gift-giving. Do not post, upload, stream, or share: Grooming advances Content that depicts, promotes, normalizes, or glorifies grooming behaviors Content that solicits real-world sexual contact between a minor and an adult or between minors with a significant age difference Content that displays or offers nudity to minors Any solicitation of nude imagery or sexual contact, through blackmail or other means of coercion Nudity and sexual activity involving minors Nudity and sexual activity involving minors include content that is overtly revealing of breasts, genitals, anus, or buttocks, or behaviors that mimic, imply, or display sex acts involving minors. We do not allow the depiction, including digitally created or manipulated content, of nudity or sexual activity. Do not post, upload, stream, or share: Content that depicts or implies minor sexual activities including penetrative and non-penetrative sex, oral sex, or intimate kissing Content that depicts sexual arousal or sexual stimulation involving a minor Content that depicts a sexual fetish involving a minor Content that depicts exposed human genitalia, female nipples or areola, pubic regions, or buttocks of a minor Content that contains sexually explicit language depicting or describing a minor Content depicting a minor that contains sexually explicit song lyrics Content with sexually explicit dancing of a minor, including twerking, breast shaking, pelvic thrusting, or fondling the groin or breasts of oneself or another Content depicting a minor undressing Content depicting a minor in minimal clothing that is not situationally relevant to the location Sexualized comments, emojis, text, or other graphics used to veil or imply nudity or sexual activity of a minor Harmful activities by minors Harmful minor activities include the possession or consumption of substances prohibited for minors, the misuse of legal substances, engagement in illegal activities, participation in activities, physical challenges, or dares that may threaten the well-being of minors. We remove any such content from our platform. Do not post, upload, stream, or share: Content that suggests, depicts, imitates, or promotes the possession or consumption of alcoholic beverages, tobacco, or drugs by a minor Content that offers instruction targeting minors on how to buy, sell, or trade alcohol, tobacco, or controlled substances Content that depicts or promotes activities that may jeopardize youth well-being, including physical challenges, dares, or stunts Physical and psychological harm of minors Behaviors that place minors at risk of physical or psychological harm include physical abuse, neglect, endangerment, and psychological disparagement. We remove any such content from our platform. Do not post, upload, stream, or share: Content that depicts or promotes physical abuse, neglect, endangerment, or psychological disparagement of minors Content that depicts or promotes survivalist techniques without a warning asserting the hazards of replication Crimes against children We do not allow users who have been convicted of crimes against children to have an account on our platform. These crimes include: sexual assault, molestation, murder, physical abuse or neglect, abduction, international parental kidnapping, trafficking, exploitation of minors for prostitution, live online sexual abuse of a minor, sexual exploitation of minors in the context of travel and tourism, attempts to obtain or distribute child sexual abuse material (CSAM), and the production, possession, or distribution of child sexual abuse material (CSAM). If we discover any such users, we ban the account. Any self-disclosed user information that states the account holder is a pedophile or minor sex offender will be taken at face value and the account may be deleted. Integrity and authenticity We believe that trust forms the foundation of our community. We do not allow activities that may undermine the integrity of our platform or the authenticity of our users. We remove content or accounts that involve spam or fake engagement, impersonation, misleading information that causes harm, or that violate any intellectual property rights. Spam and fake engagement Fake engagement includes any content or activity that seeks to artificially inflate popularity on the platform. We prohibit any attempts to manipulate the platform to increase interaction metrics. Do not: Share instructions on how to artificially increase views, likes, followers, shares, or comments Attempt to or engage in selling or buying views, likes, followers, shares, or comments Promote artificial traffic generation services Operate multiple TikTok accounts under false or fraudulent pretenses to distribute commercial spam Impersonation We do not allow accounts that pose as another person or entity in a deceptive manner. When we confirm a report of impersonation, we will ask the user to revise the profile or suspend or ban the account. We do allow parody, commentary, or fan accounts, as long as the user indicates in the bio and username that it is fan, commentary, or parody and not affiliated with the subject of the account. Do not: Pose as another person or entity by using someone else's name, biographical details, or profile picture in a misleading manner Misinformation Misinformation is defined as content that is inaccurate or false. While we encourage our community to have respectful conversations about subjects that matter to them, we do not permit misinformation that causes harm to individuals, our community, or the larger public regardless of intent. Do not post, upload, stream, or share: Misinformation that incites hate or prejudice Misinformation related to emergencies that induces panic Medical misinformation that can cause harm to an individual's physical health Content that misleads community members about elections or other civic processes Conspiratorial content that attacks a specific protected group or includes a violent call to action, or denies a violent or tragic event occurred Digital Forgeries (Synthetic Media or Manipulated Media) that mislead users by distorting the truth of events and cause harm to the subject of the video, other persons, or society Do not: Engage in coordinated inauthentic behaviors (such as the creation of accounts) to exert influence and sway public opinion while misleading individuals and our community about the account's identity, location, or purpose Intellectual property violations Copyright is a legal right that protects original works of authorship (e.g., music, videos) and original expression of an idea (e.g., the specific way a video or music is expressed or created), although does not protect underlying ideas or facts. A trademark is a word, symbol, slogan, design that identifies and distinguishes the source of a product or service. We encourage everyone to create and share original content. Content that infringes someone else's intellectual property rights is prohibited on our platform and will be removed if we become aware of it. The use of copyrighted work under certain circumstance, such as the fair use doctrine or other applicable laws, or the use of a trademark to reference, lawfully comment, criticize, parody, make a fan page, or review a product or service may not be considered a violation of our policies. Do not post, upload, stream, or share: Content that violates or infringes someone else's copyrights, trademarks, or other intellectual property rights Platform security Our policies prohibit any activities that undermine the security and reliability of the TikTok service: Do not hack the TikTok website, app, or associated networks, or bypass its measures to restrict user access Do not distribute files that contain viruses, Trojan horses, worms, logic bombs, or other materials that are malicious or harmful Do not modify, adapt, translate, reverse engineer, disassemble, decompile, or create any derivative products based on TikTok, including any files, tables or documentation, nor attempt to regenerate any source code, algorithms, methods, or techniques embodied in TikTok Do not use automated scripts to collect information from TikTok Thank you for being a part of our vibrant global community and working with us to maintain a welcoming space for all users. If you come across content or accounts that you believe may violate our Community Guidelines, please let us know so we can review and take appropriate action. Part 2, they send you back to the TikTokers page and it goes around and around. They wont do anything unless it will get them in trouble, if they can get in trouble for it then they will step in. But only then. How TikTok is supporting our community through COVID-19 Report a user icon-arrow Getting started icon-arrow Using TikTok icon-arrow Account and privacy settings icon-arrow Safety icon-arrow Log in and troubleshooting icon-arrow TikTok LIVE, gifts, and wallet icon-arrow Business and creator monetization icon-arrow Report a user To report a user:
Go to the user's profile.
Tap ... .
Select Report and follow the instructions provided.
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